


New Beginnings

by Sam_Kabaam



Category: The 100
Genre: Angst, Blood, Christmas!, Death, F/F, F/M, Forgiveness, Gen, Hints of Smut, RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES, alcoholic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 13:56:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5293685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam_Kabaam/pseuds/Sam_Kabaam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"That's why I forgave you, because I saw your struggles and fears, and in them I saw mine, and at that moment, I wasn't afraid anymore." The one where Abby must forgive but never forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Black and White

There's always a point in time when you wake up and realize how good you actually have it. We all go through that time in our lives where we don't know what to do. Almost like life is on pause, yet it still moves forward. We awaken to the sound of beating drums and clashing metal in our ears as we prepare for the battles we would have to face that day. It's always the same, everyday, every hour. 

But then there's that click, that sound that echoes through your bones, telling you that maybe your life really isn't too inferior. That there's more to it than you think.  
Abby remembers that feeling. It was the day she graduated high school, and learned she'd been accepted into the nicest, foremost, high-end medical school in the United States. She felt new, almost reborn and reshaped into something better. It was a rich and filling feeling, one that was satisfactory to her every thought. 

Then, she met Jake. The moment his hand touched hers was like a lightning strike. The feeling coursed through her body, hitting her chest. She felt she couldn't breath. It was mesmerizing, almost addictive, and she wanted more. It churned her stomach into a rattled feeling, and her skin began to stick up. It was a sting she wanted to never fade away.   
But then Clarke came into her world. It wasn't like with Jake, it didn't shoot through her veins with so much force she couldn't breath, no, it coursed through her like a river. Slow and steady, filling the soil with nutrients to help her grow and prosper. It charged her veins with contentment and prosperity. But there was a feeling in her she hadn't felt in a long time. What was she going to do now? She only found the answer the day Jake passed. 

Because, sometimes, life can also be a kick in the ass. The day he left was one of those days. Something in her seized to grow. Something she felt, something that started at her heart, was no longer reaching for light. Abby was a vine, strong and prosperous, but Clarke was her only support. Now, her feeling of life was all in her chest, and it pushed down on her like a weight. However, the pain passed. She knew Jake was still with them, still watching. But there was still a fight in her, trying to push that weight off. 

Because, sometimes, life was a battle ground. The day Marcus Kane walked into Abby's hospital was a perfect example. That feeling in her could only be described as red as blood and cold as the harshest winter. He was a weed, a plague to the garden, sick.

Abby immediately felt a chill strike down her spine when she heard the door to the morgue open. She knew exactly who it was when she heard his almost silent footsteps echo through the open hall, down the ramp from the elevator. Having been down there all day, filling out paperwork over a lost patient, she wasn't in the mood for an argument. She could almost feel his shadow be cast over her before he spoke.

"Who's that," Marcus said softly. Abby could tell by his tone that he didn't care, and was only asking to easily strike their conversation to a flame.

"What do you want, Kane," She growled, trying to get quickly to the point.

"What's the matter? Another lost patient?" he moved around the table where her former patient lay, eyeing her from across the table.

"Yep," was all Abby said as she took a few papers and headed towards the shredder.

They stood in silence as she destroyed several documents, before returning again to her table so she could fill out more. Abby listened to Kane's footsteps as he strolled around the square-shaped morgue, reading the tags on each metal drawer. Marcus enjoyed reading the small, white tags. He played a game every time he made his rounds through the mortuary. 

He would take a trip to the bar, and down an honorary shot if he saw somebody's name he once knew. Its only happened a few times, and some required more than a shot for him.

Abby glanced up for a moment,"I asked you earlier what you wanted, Kane, so what is it?"  
His presence was causing her fuse to shorten, and she yearned for him to leave.

Marcus tore his gaze from the final tag to look at Abby, his sigh echoing through the room, "Jaha told me to come and examine a body so, here I am," he gestured to himself and paused before starting again, "I'm looking for Terry Shumway, he should've been brought in yesterday."

"Cause of death?" asked Abby, stepping towards the filing cabinet where all the patients in the morgues information was stored. Her heels clicked on the cement flooring.

"Long slits traveling down the arms, we think suicide"

"You think?" Asked Abby, searching the files

Marcus smiled, "you never know"

Abby didn't linger to long on his philosophy, just kept searching. It took a few moments before she found the right file, checking the number in which Mr. Shumways body lay.  
Closing the file, she stepped back over to the center table.

"Help me move this body," she asked Marcus, who immediately marched over to help her.

They both picked up separate ends of the gurney and carried him across the room to his designated slot. Sliding him in, and locking the hatch, Abby turned to walk away, stopping as she almost ran into Marcus. He stood in front of her, blocking her path. She stepped back, being that she was once only inches from him.

"Shumway's in slot 22," she glared, hoping to intimidate him. It didn't work, in fact, it made him laugh, more than anything. She frowned at his smile.

"Sorry, didn't know you'd turn around so soon," he muttered as he turned to retrieve the victim, his smile slowly shrinking.

Coming to the correct station, he carefully opened the canister, revealing the top of Shumway's head. 

"Could you help me open this?" Marcus asked Abby from across the room. She was reluctant at first, she'd never want to help him, but; he helped her move the previous body. Sighing, knowing it was the right thing to do, Abby stepped next to him.

Grabbing the top of the drawer, Marcus carefully pulled the body from the slot. Abby made sure to grab the other end as it appeared. Once they both had a good grip, they carefully took him to the center of the room, setting him down on the metal table.

Once he was moved, Marcus nodded a thanks to Abby. She only glared, turning to grab the papers she was previously working on.

She planned on working late tonight. She wasn't worried about Clarke, she was a big girl and could most definitely take care of herself. However, things change when the man you despise the most strolls in the door. What nagged her most was the fact he always seemed to pretend there was no fuse between them, that they were only friends who never talked.   
No, they were black and white. Abby wanted to repulse when she was near him.

Instead she held it in, stood up straight, and presented herself with strength. She was willing and stubborn enough to put up a fight with this man, even if he killed her.

Taking her papers from the table, she was about to leave when he stopped her.

"Why do you always leave when I come?" Marcus asked her without even looking up from his paperwork.

Abby stopped and gritted her teeth. He had no right to ask her a question like so. Was he just that oblivious to the past? She flipped around and marched to where he leaned over the table, reading several papers. Taking the collar of his jacket she pushed him against the cold, stainless steel wall.

"I leave whenever you come because you're sick. Do you hear me? You're sick," she spat at him, lashing out like she did almost every time they met, "it's your fault Jake is gone, everything that happened was your doing. So, next time you ask me why I leave every goddamn time you come into my life, remember the things you've done." 

Abby pushed him harder into the wall, staring at him with deadly eyes.

Marcus kept his expression the same, his head high, and eyes staring right back into hers. What she said didn't phase him, he had heard it a hundred times over from her. But, he couldn't disagree, he was sick.

The long and silent pause was filled with his words, "I do think about it," he said calmly back, "everyday I think about it, and don't think for one second that I'm not sorry, because I am."

Abby didn't move once he was finished, just kept holding on, she didn't believe a word he said.

After a few moment, she let go of his collar and stepped back, her eyes never leaving his. The silence was filled with heat and anger.

Abby took his lack of words as a silent laughter. She raised her hand, hitting Marcus square on the cheek "Fuck you, Marcus."

The unexpected hit made him quietly groan, his head now turned to the right. He closed his eyes and squeezed his hands together. It took all his strength to not hit back. It wasn't personnel, more of a natural reflex. 

Slowly, he moved his head to face hers again. Her eyes were fiery, he could've sworn he'd never seen her so angry.

Abby looked to the print now red on Marcus's cheek before her eyes flicked up to his. They lingered for only a few moments before she turned away towards the door. Marcus kept his head forward and slowly closed his eyes. Only opening them when he heard the door to the morgue close, the sound echoing throughout the room. He stood alone for a few moments, listening intently to the beat of his heart, focusing on each breath he took. His anger was too much, he'd held it in for too long. Marcus swung his hand around, growling in anger as his fist pounded against the wall in one strong motion, easily denting the stainless steel. He paid no attention to the blood now almost dripping from his knuckles, he didn't care. Taking the pen from the center table, he bent down again, and quietly began to sign off each page.


	2. All the way down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby talks to Clarke, and Marcus is a mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It gets better, my friends

Clarke hopped from the couch as she heard her mothers keys being twisted into the lock. Surprised at how early it was, a bad thought swept through her mind. Her mother was never home early, whatever happened must have been big. She was always used to eating alone, going to bed looking at the clock, playing a game to guess when she'd awaken to the sound of the door slamming. There were occasional nights with Bellamy but, they never did much. Maybe play a game, watch a movie, anything to keep the 'fun' going. Seeing as her mother was home just before dark was something God himself had to witness to believe.

She edged to meet her mother at the door, not having done it in years she felt. However, her thoughts quickly became true as she saw her mothers face appear behind the door. Her smile slowly fading into a worried frown.

She could tell by Abby's expression that her day was not good. A small flame was still in her eyes, and Clarke knew that meant she was absolutely pissed.

"Mom?" Asked Clarke,"what happened?"

Abby looked to her for a few moments before responding to her question, "Kane," she growled in a deep and harsh tone,"Kane happened."

Clarke needn't ask more, she'd heard plenty of stories about Abby and his feuds at breakfast. Not to mention witnessing several fights herself, and boy, were they heated. Clarke was rather thankful she wasn't on his bad side.

Abby sighed and gritted her teeth once more as she closed the door behind her, removing her heels. She took them in her hand and immediately headed up the stairs.

"I'm going to change, I'll let you hear all about it later," Abby said a little more calmly, winking at Clarke with a small smile.

Clarke grinned back and turned towards the kitchen for a drink. Deciding she'd allow her mother some time alone before she exploded. However, little did Clarke know, Abby had already done just that.

As Clarke turned towards their dining room for a drink, she admired the decorative leaves in the middle of the dining room table, forgetting Thanksgiving was right around the corner. Clarke wondered what Thanksgiving would be like this year. Would her mother have to work? Or will she be deceived with a day off, only to be called in for an 'emergency' later? It's happened many years, Abby being called into the hospital on a holiday, only to be a false alarm or something a nurse could do. Leaving Clarke alone, and lonely. Sometimes she was allowed to help at the hospital but, it was a rare occasion.   
She shook her head, trying to forget all the lonely days. She knew her mother felt for her and didn't want to leave but, she had to. It was her job to save lives, and what If, one night, it really was an emergency?

Taking a bottle of water from the fridge, she was prepared to flop back down onto the couch, before her mother called her from upstairs. She took a few gulps of water before dashing up the stairs, towards Abby's room. It took only moments to get to the end of the hall into Abby's room.

"I've been summoned," Clarke joked, jumping down onto Abby's bed.

"Ha, very funny," she replied in a sarcastic tone, already feeling a little better with Clarke's presence, "I was just happy to be home so early is all."

"Well, I'm happy you are too, but; Care to tell me WHY you're home so early?"

Abby chuckled a disgusted yet humorous laugh as she shook her head and put her necklace back in its place. She felt almost reluctant to tell her what went down that day. Then, she remembered what started their rivalry anyway, and all her care slipped away,   
"Marcus came into the morgue again today, then had the balls to ask me why I left whenever he came to me."  
"So, what'd you do?" Asked Clarke again, clearly interested on the outcome.  
"I hit him, told him to back off," Abby growled, facing Clarke.  
She only nodded to her mother, understanding her anger. However, there was something in Clarke that wondered if her mother had ever thought about his side of the story. Of course Clarke was angry, how couldn't she be but, perhaps she was mad at the wrong person?  
Abby sighed and took a few steps towards Clarke, sitting down on the bed next to her. She smiled and grabbed her daughters hand, she could tell by Clarke's face that she wasn't necessarily happy.   
"Look, I'm sorry if I'm in a bad mood tonight I- I'm just stressed at work, and just lost a patient. Those two problems mixed with Kane coming in just-," Abby paused, looking into the air with red cheeks, searching for the right words, "made me explode. I would've bashed his head in if I didn't think of the consequences... And his strong arms that could probably snap my neck like a toothpick..."  
Clarke couldn't help but chuckle at her mother, laying her head on her shoulder. Abby grabbed her hair, slowly running her fingers through her golden locks. It helped calm her more than anything. A few silent minutes passed before Abby noticed Clarke's shoulders move up and down. Her brow furrowed as she lightly pushed Clarke back to look at her. Becoming even more confused when she saw her big smile grow even wider.   
"Like a toothpick!" She cracked, barely able to speak her thoughts.  
"I-it!" Abby laughed, not knowing what to say, "have you ever screamed back and forth with him before?! Scary as hell!"  
They laughed with each other until they couldn't breathe. It wasn't that funny, they supposed they were just so tired, anything became a joke. Abby already felt better laughing with Clarke. Forgetting all about the situation that took place only hours before.  
Abby laughed to herself as she strolled down the stairs to the living room. The image of a sleeping, and snoring,  
Clarke still fresh in her mind. She just never knew Clarke could fall asleep so fast, or snore so loud. It looked to her that they'd be switching rooms for a night.  
The wood floor creaked as Abby walked to the kitchen, her stomach growling from the lack of food. She scanned her surroundings, looking for anything to satisfy herself with. After a few minutes of checking the cupboards, pantry, and fridge, she figured a run to the grocery store may be needed the next day. She sighed and settled for an apple, taking her fruit and heading towards the living room. She fell into the couch, allowing the comfort of the cushions to hug her warmly. Closing her eyes, the darkness and silence covered her like a blanket, welcoming her to sleep. Abby snapped from her trance, her eyes opened to reveal the empty white ceiling. The feelings she felt then hit her like a bomb, the force of the explosion rolling into her chest.  
She felt lonely, and cold. She realized then that Clarke was the only source of light in her tunnel, and she wasn't enough. A shiver traveled up Abby's spine, this feeling she had felt once before was back again to haunt her. To tear at her mind and plague her thoughts. She just needed someone to love, someone to hold and lay with until the sun rose. But it wasn't that easy. Jake was still there, and her anger was still fresh. Marcus was a coward in her mind. He was weak and selfish, didn't care about anyone but himself. He should be the one suffering in this cold abyss just like her. Little did she know he was in fact suffering the same hell.  
Abby trailed her fingers down her arm,  
Stopping at her wrists. A wave of emotion embraced her. She never wanted it to get this bad. Never wanted to hold such a grudge. Her mother always taught her to forgive but, how could she? He killed Jake with no emotion. Not a second glance at the consequences, It was like getting away with murder.   
Abby forgot all about her hunger, about Clarke. She let her mind trail back to that one night, when her life became nothing more than just existing.  
§₩§  
Marcus was barely able to climb out of his old truck without stumbling to the ground. As cold as it was driving, having no working heater in the vehicle, he didn't notice in his drunken mind. In fact, he didn't notice anything. Not the pain in his knuckle, the dryness of his mouth, or the cold outside. There was one thing, however, that still plagued his thoughts. What he saw through his eyes was not the front door of his home, but an image of Jake, bloodied and dying. Crimson rivers running from both their mouths. He could almost feel his hand grabbing his, pulling him up. Jakes eyes focusing on his, and never moving again. His chest rising and falling one last time.  
Marcus wanted to scream. He'd never let himself get this bad, never let his mind win. He put his family, his friends, and his own life in danger. He let it get to him. For one night, only one, he just wanted to forget. To feel nothing, look at the world as if it didn't even exist, and Abby was the one to push it. But it never worked, his plan failed and he still felt it, felt everything.  
He stumbled up his steps, his keys scratching the lock. It took him longer than it should have to get his door unlocked and opened. Marcus held onto the doorway, pulling himself inside, and slamming the door behind him, his home shaking from the force. He leaned against his door for a minute before taking a few more steps. His walk was clumsy, and as he fell forward, he gripped the couch tightly.  
He felt warm, burning even. His skin was soaked in a cold sweat, and his throat ached. Marcus leaned over the chair, and bowed his head to the ground. He tried to control his breathing, but his mind felt plagued and light. opening his eyes, bright splotches blocked his vision. He collapsed to his knees, resting his forehead against the backing of the couch. He didn't know what to do. Marcus closed his eyes again, screaming as hard as he could. All his pain and hurt coming out in one swift shout of his voice. Turning around, his back leaned against the backing of the couch, and his knees folded up to his chest. He grabbed his wrist, running his fingers up and down his arm.   
"Weak," he whispered to himself,"I'm weak."


	3. Climbing the Ladder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby performs and emergency surgery, and the truth is revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where it all gets interesting, thanks for reading it this far! (Btw there may be some disturbing images in this chapter for some people, idk, it's your definition of 'disturbing'

The next few weeks were easy for Abby. All her patients were doing fine, with high hopes and good chances. She was even able to go home at a decent time, which greatly increased Clarke's spirit. Plus, there had been no sign of Kane, That was, until thanksgiving. The only family Abby had was Clarke, so going somewhere for Thanksgiving, or having people over, was never really an option. However, if there was one person she was thankful for, it was Clarke.  
Abby sighed as she entered her office, carefully taking a seat in the black chair that was always pushed into her desk. Neither her nor Clarke were happy with Abby's work schedule but, she supposed a persons life may be a little more important than dinner.  
It had been a long day, she had just spent 8 hours stitching up someone's intestines, and wasn't looking forward to the mountains of paperwork that had to be completed by the next morning. Staring out the window, she watched as the last rays of the sun disappeared under the New York harbor. Her office now only lit by the dim light of her lamp.  
Seconds turned into minutes as minuted turned into hours as Abby sat, filing sheet after sheet of patient reports. It was nearly eleven before she was snapped from her concentration at the sound of a banging on her door. She stood from her warm chair and moved towards the noise, jumping back as the door burst open.  
Jackson, her assistant, jumped in the room, struggling to catch his breath.   
"Abby," he cried,"we need to prep for surgery immediately."  
He grabbed her arm, gently nudging her outside.  
"Jackson, what's going on?" She questioned, yet to find the reason for his sudden intrusion.  
"A bomb was placed in the NYPD building, we have 3 injured men being air lifted here as we speak, the rest are being transported to other hospitals in the area."  
Abby froze for only a moment, looking into Jacksons eyes, hoping it was all a cruel joke. A faint nod from his head gave her all the push she needed to know that this was real, and peoples lives were in danger. Abby immediately marched to the elevator, having to go down a few floors to reach the surgical floor.  
"How's the status of our patient?"  
Abby asked in a determined voice, she was in doctor mode.  
"Severe burns along the left side of the body, and metal lodged in the thorax," Jackson replied, staring at the report sheet he received only minutes before.  
"And their name?"  
Jackson froze as the elevator door closed behind them. He knew their hatred and all the reasons why. His name would immediately kindle a blaze in Abby, and the fact terrified him. Abby became annoyed, "their name," she repeated. Jackson stuttered before finally finding the right words.   
"M-Marcus Kane," he spoke finally,  
"His name is Marcus Kane."  
Abby was so shocked, Jackson had to pull her from the elevator so she didn't miss her floor. Of all the people in the world, Marcus Kane had to be her patient. She didn't know what to say. Her mouth become dry and a fire in her heart began to burn her insides.  
Jackson easily knew a fire was surging through her bones. How dare they ask her to save the life of the man who killed her husband. He was innocent, Kane was not, he didn't deserve to be saved. Not after everything he's done, after all the lives he tore apart. He got away with murder. But, Abby knew the rules, she knew the protocol. There's no turning down a patient, no backing out. She was being forced to save the life of a killer.  
Abby looked at Jackson for a few moments before softening only a little, before beginning to march once again into the prep room. It took only minutes for them to throw on their scrubs and sterilize themselves. Their final touch being to throw on gloves.  
Abby pushed open the operating room doors, Jackson following swiftly behind. There were two other people in the room, not including Marcus. Abby would normally feel her heart sink at such wounds she saw but, she felt no sympathy for the man dying in front of her.  
Third and second degree burns lined his right arm, hand, neck, and torso. A few pieces of metal lodged into the middle of his chest. Abby wanted to leave him there. Lock the door and turn the lights off. Let his anesthesia wear off and listen to his screams of pain as she watched in the observation area above. But she couldn't, it was to late now. The nurses and assistants eyes her, waiting for her to snap orders. When she failed to say a word, just stare at their patient, Jackson nudged her shoulder. She jumped at his sudden touch, realizing her silence.  
"Right," she said to herself, "we need to remove the metal from his thorax. Each breath he takes could be lodging the metal deeper into his body, if we don't catch it in time, it could lodge itself into his vertebral column, or lungs."  
"And the burns?" Jackson asked as he sprung into action, gathering needed tools.  
"We'll remove dead tissue later."  
It took hours before Abby was able to remove every piece of metal from his chest. Big pieces broke into smaller pieces, each one falling, wedging itself deeper into his flesh. Many times Abby wanted to push a piece of metal right into his heart. Clog the IV so his needed fluids would never reach his body. But she stayed her hand. Fought against her urge for revenge. She would get her chance, someday.  
Once the metal was taken care of, it was onto the burns. His skin was charred and peeling. The tendons and top section of his ribs lay bare to the air. His right arm and side of his neck weren't nearly as bad. His skin was peeled, leaving the layer of dermis exposed. Aside from his chest, the burns left no blood.  
It took even longer to clear his skin. Abby worked carefully and quickly, not wanting to waste anymore anesthesia on a man who didn't deserve it. She could tell by Jackson and her nurses faces that they were tiring quickly. Their eye lids drooping towards the ground.  
"Alright, let's wrap it up," she sighed, turning her back to Marcus and handing her tools to Jackson. She exited the room in a hurry, motioning to a set of nurses outside of the room to begin dressing his bandages, and cleaning the tools. She could hear Jackson and the rest of her helpers follow her out of the hot surgical compartment.  
Abby was planning to clean up and leave as soon as possible, however; her plan became delayed when she heard Jacksons voice ring through the halls from behind her.   
"You did good Abby," he called to her from across the empty floor,"I know that was hard for you, but; you did good."  
She didn't know what to do, how to respond. So, she only turned to face him, sending a soft smile between them both. Jackson could sense her eagerness to leave, so he only smiled back, and left her to herself. Abby stood alone and eyed the spot where Jackson once stood, before turning and leaving herself. She headed straight for the girls locker room, to prepare for a shower.  
Abby ignored protocol, she simply didn't care anymore. Grabbing the back of her scrub, she ripped it from her body as if it were poison. She tore her pants and threw her gloves. Once she was completely free of her uniform,  
She gathered the bloodied cloths and threw them straight into the trash. Emotions ripped through her like a hurricane. Wave after wave of anger and sadness pushed into her flesh. But she didn't cry. There wasn't one drop that fell from her eyes. She refused to give in to the heartbreak. Removing the rest of her clothing, Abby placed them gently on the bench next to the stall. Her mind went blank as she turned the cold knob on the shower, the steaming water falling from the spout. It only took her a minute to soap and condition her hair, and only a minute more to soap her body. Once she was finished, Abby turned the water off once more, and grabbed a warm towel to dry her wet skin.  
She was close to dry before she saw herself in the mirror. It was horrid, she could barely look at herself. 'What have I done' abby thought. She couldn't undo what she knew she did. She couldn't break free of the images flashing through her head. Marcus killed him, murderer him, and not one person batted an eye. Jake was dead, because of Marcus. And now, Abby was being forced to help him? Save the mans life who's taken so many others? She wanted to destroy herself for committing such an act towards a disgusting and sick human being.  
Abby lifted her wrists to the mirror, staring at all the lonely cuts. Then, she broke. Tears flowed gently and steadily down her cheeks. But she didn't make a sound, made no change in expression, just stared. She couldn't do it, she wanted to, but she couldn't. She remembered that night so long ago. The night Clarke went to Ravens house, and Abby was left alone with a bottle of California Pinot Noir wine and a razor. It all went downhill from there. She never imagined hurting herself in such a way, ever. However, it happened, and what she did then was regretted in her mind greatly. It was her fault, and it was done. She realized her train of thought wasn't just on the scars she made herself.  
The sudden hit on the head made her back away from the mirror. Abby cleared her mind once more, it was four in the morning, and her mind was swarming with absurd and doltish thoughts. She quickly dressed, leaving her towel and everything else behind. Being in a hurry for rest, hoping too rid her mind of the heinous surgery that had just taken place, and the dreadful thoughts that exploded through her mind, Abby didn't even bother stopping at her office. She was done, and that was that.  
§₩§  
The road seemed never ending, it's black scaled pavement slithering through the city. Abby peered at her wrist, her watch reading '10 o'clock.'   
"Shit," she mumbled to herself. Having overslept, she'd have minimum time to fill out papers, and there was always the required check-ins on patients, at least once a day.   
"Great," she continued to speak to herself,"I get too check in on Mr. Detective Kane."  
Abby tried to rid her worries of him, and focus on other complications and priorities. She still had tons of paperwork to file out, plus, she was unaware of what became of the other two officers, if they survived or not.   
Abby shivered at the thought, and decided it'd be best to ignore work altogether.  
Clarke wasn't as upset as Abby thought she'd be. Of course she left out the part of saving the life of her fathers murderer but, the rest was nothing but the truth. Clarke understood her mothers absence on thanksgiving, and there was always Christmas to enjoy a dinner together.  
By the time Abby made it into the main lobby of the hospital, it was swarming with nurses, doctors, visitors, and the usual security guards. She struggled to get a spot on the elevator, by the time she was able to finally push through the crowd, she was stuck in the very back. Floor after floor the elevator pushed upwards, and Abby was beginning to feel sick. Finally, it reached floor eight, and Abby pushed through the crowd for the last time. Taking a few good breaths of fresh air as the elevator closed and left again, Abby continued down the bustling yet silent hallways to her office. Upon entering, she noticed a new stack of papers laying right in front of her chair.   
"Great," she sighed, "more work."  
Hours went on and it wasn't long before 3 o'clock rolled around. Abby didn't have a good time to leave her work, but some of her patients expected her at 3. She sighed, knowing her papers would be there when she returned, her patients may not be. Standing from her lonely desk, she began to check in on each one. Most were asleep, but some politely nagged her with small talk, and she was happy to stay. It didn't take long for her to come to her final patients room, that of Marcus Kane's. She thanked God when she opened the door to find him still asleep, with no one else in the room.  
She immediately closed the door, and returned to her office, beginning to file through work again. She supposed she got rather nervous and built up over nothing. However, there was still to be the day he did awaken, and that would be the day Abby would fear for her life.  
§₩§  
It was three weeks until Christmas, and Abby had yet to even send out Christmas cards, or buy presents.   
Since weeks were the same, go to work, do papers, check on patients, maybe throw in an occasional surgery. However, her days of loathing and resentment of Marcus Kane all ended the day she least expected it. Upon entering his room, she expected to find him asleep, as he always was since he still hadn't been allowed wake up. His wounds were bad, and the hospital felt it best for him to carry on his anesthesia for a few weeks. However, it seemed they'd brought their orders back, because there he was, awake. Abby's heart stopped beating in her chest. She knew it would come, but; she never really was prepared to face the music quiet yet.  
Upon hearing the door quietly latch shut, Marcus looked up to Abby, his expression never changing. Abby took a few steps forward, standing at a comfortable distance between herself and him.  
Clearing her throat, she spoke with a quiet yet strong and unsympathetic voice, "How are you feeling."  
Marcus didn't respond right away. In fact, he didn't know how to respond. He opened his mouth, using all of his strength, for it felt as if it had been glued shut, "a bit drugged," he finally managed too say.  
Abby nodded, unsurprised at his grey yet defined answer. She took a step towards the end of his bed, taking his file from the stand. She read his description and couldn't help but flick her eyes to him. She could see the bandages wrapped carefully on his neck and knew they didn't stop until they reached his waist, then there'd be a few more lining his right thigh and the bicep of his leg. In all honesty, she was glad they were there, he deserved them. As did he the pain in his ribs, surely they'd leave an ugly bruise atop his skin. Abby thought herself almost evil at her wanting to laugh at her pain. Scream in his face that he deserved it. But, she kept herself quiet, and her mouth shut.  
Closing the file and making a line towards the door, Abby tried to leave, but was stopped when Marcus called her name.   
"Abby, wait," he mumbled, hoping it got her attention. It did.  
She rolled her eyes and turned around, hoping whatever he had too say was quick.  
Marcus closed his eyes briefly before opening them again. He promised himself he would never tell, he promised himself he would keep his mouth shut. But there was always a part of him that felt different, that felt Abby had a right to know. However, he never let it out, never let it win. If he did he knew what would happen and he refused to let any of them go there. But the shitty part about being on drugs, is that you don't know what part of your mind is in control, and what part isn't.  
"I think you should sit down," he said, which only got a chuckle from Abby.  
She came back at him with force,"do you think I want too sit down and listen to you talk to me?!"  
Marcus was silent for a few moments before he spoke calmly again, "I know you don't want to look at me, but; I need to tell you something. It will only take a moment."  
Abby was about to leave the room when curiosity got the best of her. She decided she may enjoy hearing him stumble over his words. Sit and listen as he babbles on and on about either apologies, or about how it "wasn't his fault." Either way, the only reason Abby stayed, was for a show.  
"Fine, I'll stay, but I'm not sitting down," she said quickly and stubbornly.  
Marcus wasn't looking to argue. Her staying to listen was a miracle itself. So, with all Marcus had, he began to talk.  
"Look, Abby, I know you hate me and I-" Abby chuckled at his remark and rolled her eyes.  
"And I know that it seems like I've fucked things up pretty badly, but... You need to know this, you have the right to know this."  
He stopped and looked at her with eyes that she'd never seen. She'd always seen them hard and angry, always angry. But he looked at her now with soft eyes and a weary heart. One that's been beaten and crushed so many times.  
"Jake was dangerous. Him and Ridley were big time drug dealers an-"  
"Stop, just stop," jumped Abby, not wanting to hear any of his excuses or lies.  
"No- no wait, Abby, please. Please just listen," he pleaded, almost begged for her to stop.   
She obeyed and shut her mouth, staring at him with red and blazing eyes.  
"I moved to New York ten years ago because I was hired by the NYPD to help them track down Cuyler Ridley, a drug dealer claiming to be an Environmental Engineer. He was helping to smuggle drugs from Mexico to Canada. But, we had no evidence of his operation to make a formal arrest. That was my job, I needed to find evidence so we could lawfully warrant for his seize. I didn't know Jake was helping him. I-I didn't even know it was Jake. We were lucky to finally get details on Ridleys next drop off. Jake was too take the drugs to Canada and sell them there, he didn't get very far. " Marcus had to stop and cool down. He was scared, and angry.  
Abby didn't move a muscle In Between Marcus's pause, just stood and waited until he began again, "We surprised them in an abandoned car garage. Before I could do anything, Jake had his gun to the head of one of the officers, Cuylers men were shooting at us, and he was making a run for it. I didn't know what to do. There was so much blood. So much noise. Screaming, gunfire. I'm so, so sorry, Abby. I-I didn't know what else to do. We got to be good friends and trust me when I say that it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. In the end, Cuyler escaped, I thought Jake had too. When the rest of Ridleys men went to run, the NYPD officers went after them. Guess nobody noticed I got shot in the leg.... Jake told me was going to take you and Clarke and run from the law, Abby. I couldn't let that happen, he would have never stopped. Your life, would be running, until he died, or he was captured. I didn't want too shoot him, but; if I didn't, I'd be dead, and you would be too. I know you hate me, you have every right too. But I did what I had too do, and I regret it every fucking day."  
Abby was frozen in place at the end of Marcus's speech. She didn't know what to do, what to say. Everything she believed, everything she thought was true, was wrong. She wanted to say something, anything. But, she couldn't, nothing came out. With wide eyes and a dry throat, Abby slowly stepped towards the door, and left. Marcus didn't say a word, just watched, and waited for her to disappear. She was in such a hurry, she forgot to close the door behind her. Marcus couldn't tear his eyes from the empty door way, all his thoughts still on that one night.


	4. Forgive, but never forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby and Marcus share 'a few' needed words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a boring chapter, sorry, it'll get better, promise!

When Marcus woke up it was nearly sunset. His head throbbed, and his throat yearned for water. He couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. He could feel the heat of the setting sun stream across his eyes. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, Marcus finally managed to squint his eyes open, lifting his hand to block out the natural light. Turning his head away from the window, he caught sight of the door still open. Suddenly, the memories returned.  
'What have I done,' thought Marcus, a wave of sadness reaching through him. His expression was a mix of sadness and disgust. He had to make this right, for him and for Abby.  
As he prepared to fold the blankets from his lap, a nurse came into the room. Upon seeing him awake and moving, she rushed to his side.   
"Sir, you shouldn't be getting up," she said trying to stop him from moving.  
"I'd like to sign out please," fought Marcus with eagerness in his voice.  
"Sir, it's best if you stay here an-" he didn't want any of it, and cut her off with an angry tone.  
"I'm over twenty one yes?" He asked to the women, who was more angry than anything. She nodded her head lightly, knowing exactly where he was going, and she prepared for defeat.   
"Then give me my papers for check out, please and thank you."  
The nurse sighed, turning to grab the release forms from the table at the foot of the bed. It took nothing but two seconds for Marcus to sign his name and hand them back, immediately peeling off his blankets and moving to get up. As he sat up, a pain echoed through his rib cage. He tried his best too ignore it, knowing that he would have to live with it for a bit of time. After a few moments, Marcus finally managed to sit up, and swing his legs around so that his feet touched the floor.  
"I'll grab you some decent clothing," commented the nurse, upon seeing that he was capable of sitting up. He nodded a thanks as the women grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt from a nearby cabinet.   
"These were in your bag you had when we took you in the ambulance, they're better than going out in hospital shorts and nothing but bandages as a shirt."  
Marcus smiles courteously, taking the clothes from her hands.  
"Your shoes are by the door," she quickly commented again before exiting the room.  
"Thank you, and I'm sorry I jumped at you a bit, mrs?"  
"Sydney," she replied, "Ms. Sydney," Marcus nodded a good bye as she sped away. He wondered why Ms. Sydney was in such a hurry after the reveal of her name.  
It didn't take long to push the thought from his mind as he tried for the first time getting up. Grabbing the wall and handle on the side of his bed, he used all of his strength to lift his weight. He groaned only a little at the shooting pain, but it didn't take long to die down, and become almost non existent. Marcus leaned against the bed and took his clothes from the table. It took a few tries to get his shirt over his head without pulling his skin, and even longer to bend down and pull on his pants without hurting his ribs. He moved as fast as he could, he had to see Abby. He disregarded all of the pain, numbing himself with thoughts.  
Once he was decent and dressed, Marcus made his way towards the door. Trying to walk as normal as he could.  
As he opened the door, peering out into the hallway, he suddenly remembered why he was where he was. Two security officers strolled down the white and penny plain halls, stopping at the end and turning around to begin their stroll again.   
'There was an explosion,' Marcus rolled through his thoughts, 'I was leaving the locker room, a bomb went off, I got burned, there was an explosion.'  
He noticed a few odd stares from the people around him as his face morphed into a horrified expression. He didn't even know if his friends were ok, if he was the only one who made it or not. As his mind wandered, he realized there was nothing he could do for them, even if they lived or died, he had no say in the matter, but; he had a chance to make it right with Abby. Once the realization hit him, Marcus tried his best to forget. If they lived, they would be there when he returned. If they didn't, it was a perfect excuse to get drunk again. He straightened up and completely exited the room, making his way down the hall and towards the elevator.  
Once Marcus was finally out of the stuffy and heated hospital, he took a deep breath of the polluted New York air. Even after living in the city for ten years, it was still a bit difficult to get used too. It was mainly thanks to the hundreds of cabs that paraded up and down the streets, searching for a raised hand out of the sidewalk.   
Marcus marched to the taxi-lane, calling on the first cab he saw.  
As he opened the door and sat down, the smell of cigarettes and stale coffee filled his nose, it reminded him of the millions of airports he was 'lucky' enough to experience.  
"Where to?" Asked the driver in a croaky and old voice.  
Marcus thought hard for a moment before answering the mans question, "Green-Wood Cemetery, please."  
"Ah Ol' Green-Wood, huh?" Responded the driver, putting the vehicle in drive and speeding from the lot, "I hear there's 600,000 buried in that cemetery, and ghosts ayre said to walk them lots at night. You ain't goin' ghost huntin' are ya?"  
Marcus couldn't help but laugh a little, "something like that," was all he said. The cabbie kept his mouth shut the remainder of the ride, not having much else to say.  
It was a miracle they reached Green-Wood before dark. Marcus supposed it didn't matter. He wasn't afraid of ghosts, and he knew Abby would still be there. Upon paying the driver, it took all of his strength and courage to step out of the cab, and face Abby.  
Marcus made his way through the lonely and dim road, the sun already being swallowed by the horizon. Out of the thousands of graves, Marcus knew exactly which one was Jakes. He'd visited quiet a few times, easily able to find it, drunk or not. He froze in place upon the sight of Abby. Her jacket and pants the same as they were when she had talked to him earlier. Marcus had no doubt that Abby wouldn't be very happy to see him so, he approached cautiously, trying to be as polite and laid back as possible.  
Abby sat on her knees, the grass gently brushing her thighs, the dew on the grass darkening the fabric of her red dress. Being a doctor she was always forced to dress nice at work. Abby never thought she looks nice in a dress. In fact, she always hated dressing nice because of it but, what could she do? Unless she was going to impress a certain someone, you could find her in sweatpants and a sweatshirt.  
Marcus, however, thought otherwise. There was always something that nagged at him every time he laid eyes on ms. Griffin. A tickle in his stomach that always brought up his spirits, even if they were to be torn down again by Abby's yelling. It wasn't her fault, it never was. She didn't know what happened. She was always told to believe that Jake was an innocent, murdered for no reason, under the name of Marcus Kane. That's what she believed, because she didn't know any different. She was fed lies, and so lies she grew to know as truths.  
Marcus cleared his throat, making himself known, before speaking quietly to the back of Abby's head, "A-Abby," he struggled to say,"I'm so sorry, Abby. I was drugged up, I didn't know what I was saying. I never meant for you to hear that, it's my fault. I'm so, so sorry." He felt ashamed and dampened, he felt as if he was being pulled down into the ground, a heavy weight on his soul. He rushed to spill his apology, sick of  
Leaving room for small talk.  
Abby's eyes left Jakes stone, and she turned her head so that she could see his shadow to her left. She didn't know what to say, how to respond. Abby was terrified. She didn't know what too believe, was he telling the truth? Or was he screaming lies? Something in her didn't want to know, and yet she yearned for the truth.   
"You should be at the hospital resting," she said softly, turning back her head to stare at the name engraved in stone.  
"No, Abby, I have to make this right. Five out of seven nights a week you can find me passed out on my floor, miserable and shit faced, because I want to forget. I want to forget everything, Abby. I don't know how much longer I can take it. Wake up every morning, with my first thought, the first image that pops into my head, being Jakes eyes cold and distant. Every morning I face the bitter truth that it's my fault. I thought I was helping, thought that I was doing the right thing but It wasn't. I destroyed your life, Abby. And you have every right in the world to hate me."  
By the time Marcus ended his apology, Abby's face was wet with tears. But, she made no sound, not the slightest whimper or cry. Abby motioned for him to sit next to her, and she heard his footsteps slide in the grass. Sitting next to Abby, Marcus looked to her for words. His face was sad and distant, and it only became worse when he saw sight of her tears.  
"I did this to you," Marcus said in an almost questioning tone as he stare at the tears that fell from her cheeks.   
Abby watched him as he looked at her face, she could almost feel the pain in his eyes.  
"Marcus," she said, forcing him to look at her again. But she couldn't say it. How her insides felt ripped open, she judged a man before she knew his story. He must have took her silence for a change of mind, because he took his eyes from hers, and stared at Jakes name.  
They sat like that for some time, allowing the night to embrace them in its dark blanket. There were no stars, just the orange glow of the city lights through the foggy mist that lingered in the sky. Abby had so many questions,  
So many things she didn't still quiet understand.  
"Marcus," she asked finally, "why didn't you tell me?"  
"Because," Marcus began, not knowing how to continue his explanation, "I tried to help you. I tried to be the good guy, but I failed. I thought what I was doing was right, but all it turned out being was a shitty alternative."  
Abby laughed at his voice, "ya, it was pretty shitty."  
Marcus' spirits were lifted when he heard her sense of humor. He was great full she had a light side in dark times.  
"Listen I know you're still mad, Abby, but; I want a second chance. I know I don't deserve it, but it doesn't hurt ask."  
Abby was soothed by his soft voice and calm tone. However, she lingered on his question. Of course she was still mad, she was furious but, she couldn't bring herself to say no. This was an opportunity for a new chance, a new beginning. And what was the point of passing it on, when instead she could take it with both hands?  
Abby turned her head, looking back into his soft yet frightened brown eyes. She felt a warm feeling then, it grew through her with a tidal wave of power. She was mesmerized, she felt alive. It had been a long time since she experienced such warmth strike through her bones.  
"Ok," whispered Abby, struggling to hide her emotion, "ok, we were good friends once, and I miss our closeness."  
Marcus didn't believe her at first. He was stunned at her answer. She said yes. He sighed in relief, a smile forming on his lips. "Thank you."  
"You can thank me, after you get back to the hospital," her voice was no longer an emotional croak but a hard and demanding tone.  
Marcus chuckled, he'd heard that tone before. He knew exactly how it was going down, and he knew good and well that arguing with her would get him absolutely nowhere.  
Abby smirked at his laugh, knowing that he knew he couldn't win.   
"Great, I'll drive,"she told him, standing from the cold and dew soaked ground. Abby lowered herself and took a hold of Marcus, helping him stand. She frowned at his disability to stand well. He most definitely needed rest, and coming out to follow Abby was a big risk. He was bullheaded and stubborn, but Abby couldn't blame him, so was she.


	5. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby surprises Marcus with a trip home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEEEEEEYYYYYY NO MORE HOSPITAL!

The next few days were uneventful as Christmas drew nearer and nearer. The city lights polluted the sky with red and green, and Father Christmas's bells rang throughout the city streets. Marcus was exceptionally happy, finding that he would be out the 20th of December. He didn't do anything for Christmas, he didn't have anyone to spend it with, but; he'd prefer not to be in the hospital either way.  
Abby visited him quiet often as well, changing bandages and giving new fluids too his IVs. His burns were healing well, leaving behind scars that wrapped around the right sides of his body, climbing up his neck. His breathing became better as well. The holes in his chest left him wheezing and gasping for air. Now, it was rare for him to skip a breath. There were a few times when he panicked. His hands squeezing the edge of his bed, his lungs gasping for air. It was almost as if he forgot how to breath. These attacks slowly became better, and eventually becoming non-existent.  
When her days were slow and nights were filled with restlessness, Abby found herself on the edge of his bed, talking until Clarke had too call her out of worry. She still hadn't brought up her and Marcus's new friendship, she didn't know how to tell Clarke her father was murdered for their own protection. Abby tried not to worry about it too much, she would tell her when the time was right.  
When Abby wasn't around on her free time to visit him, Marcus found himself thinking back on old memories of Christmas. Vera and him stringing popcorn by the fire, talking and laughing about past memories. It would be his 4th year without taking a trip down to his mothers, and the thought saddened him. He never knew his father, Vera was his one and only guardian. And without her, he felt a pain in his heart, one that ceased to be healed. However, Abby helped his hurt, she was his bandage.  
"You get out tomorrow," exclaimed Abby, closing the door behind her as she entered Marcus's room. He smiled at her exhilaration.  
"I know it's a shame , you won't have an excuse to come and see me anymore," he joked playfully back.  
Abby sat in the chair next to him, propping her feet up onto his bed.  
"So, how's your day been," asked Abby, knowing the answer too the question before he said a word.  
"Well," he began, "I woke up, sat, ate breakfast, sat, ate lunch, got up, went to the restroom, sat back down, sat some more, ate dinner, then I did something else... I don't seem to remember what it wa- oh! sat."  
"Oh stop complaining! You're day was boring, like all the rest, I know!"  
"Then why'd you ask me!" He laughed, both of them smiling to each other.   
"What about yours?" Asked Marcus once their laughing subsided.  
"Boring, same as yours," she sighed, "I did papers all day. Barely had time to visit my patients, that's why I never stopped by until now."  
"I was wondering if you forgot about me."  
"Sometimes I wish I did," she frowned to him.  
"Right back at you," he snapped back, keeping a straight face.  
It only took a few moments of silent, straight face, staring for them both too break, laughing together as their joyous chuckling filled the room.  
"So," Abby giggled, their laughing dying down,"what are you going too do when you're out?"  
Marcus couldn't help but hold back a quiet scoff to himself, "well, my injuries got me an 'honorable discharge' from the NYPD, and no paycheck. I'm lucky they're paying for my hospital bill. I don't know what I'm going too do."  
"Do you know who planted the bomb?" Abby asked curiously. She had seen several detectives and policemen come into the room from time to time.  
"We think it was a women by the name of Diane Sydney but, we're not for sure. She used too be a detective like me for the NYPD, but; was given a dishonorable discharge for withholding information."  
Abby nodded her head, not quiet understanding why she would try to blow the building. She supposed it wasn't her job to understand, so she decided not to linger on it too long.  
"Well," Abby said happily,"what about Christmas? Hell, it's in six days, and I haven't even gone Christmas shopping."  
Marcus laughed, he wasn't a fan of Christmas shopping himself. He never knew what to get his mother. And when he was forced too do the secret Santa gift-exchange at work, a visit to the dollar store was as far as he got.  
He sighed,"probably nothing. I have a little Charlie Brown tree, that's the only Christmas decoration I've ever had. And, I don't really have any family left. Plus, for the last four years, I typically just went into work but, that doesn't seem too be an option anymore."  
Abby sat and thought for a moment. She had forgotten about his mothers passing. She remembered the day Marcus came into the morgue, speaking not a word. Abby was furious at him for moving her papers the day before, and became even more furious when he yelled at her to back off. As she looked back at it now, he was right. Abby was harsh to him, but; Marcus was harsh right back. She remembered when he screamed at her for ten minutes straight, listing off all the reasons why she was wrong about a subject she couldn't remember. That's how vacuous their arguments were. Really, they found anything to argue about, and destroyed one another only because they didn't care.  
"I have an idea," Abby exclaimed,"why don't you join me and Clarke for Christmas Eve dinner? I haven't told her about our new beginning, and this would be the perfect time!" She exclaimed,"Plus," she added awkwardly, "I have the twentieth through the fifth of January off, and I need help Christmas shopping..."  
Marcus thought it over for only a few moments. He didn't have anything better too do, and no excuse to say no. Plus, he would do anything too spend time with Abby. He didn't want to admit it, but; he was really starting to like Abby. Well, he's always liked Abby. Her face, hair, and skin sent a shiver up his spine. She was so beautiful. And when she spoke, even in the harshest of times, even when he was absolutely furious at her, Abby's voice always sent a thrill to his ears. And it traveled all through his body. He remembered talking alone with Abby. Her personality and sense of humor instantly made him feel peaceful and jovial. But he never made a move, never gave her a wrong impression or sign. He knew his place, and it wasn't with Abby. She was married, and he was secretly trying to bust her husband! Their friendship now was a conundrum, but; it was real, and Marcus wasn't complaining.  
"Only if you want me there," he responded, not wanting to sound too hasty.  
"Marcus! If I didn't want you to go shopping for presents and come over for Christmas dinner, I wouldn't have asked!" She exclaimed, almost angry at his lack of confidence in himself.  
"Alright alright!" He stuck his hands in the air, making a motion too playfully back off, "when are we shopping?"  
Abby thought for a few moments,"Tuesday? The 22nd? If you're free of course."  
"Abby, I have no job and all of my friends are working the job I used to have, I'm pretty sure I'm free," he argued sarcastically.  
"Poor Marcus, a loner at heart," cried Abby, moving her hands to her heart and staring into him with puppy eyes.  
Marcus smiled and nudged her shoulder, making Abby smile and drop her hands to her lap, a strand of hair falling from behind her ear.   
She sighed and looked towards the door, knowing she should be getting back to Clarke so she didn't have to make up anymore excuses on why she was always late.   
"I better go," she said softly, a sadness hidden in her throat. She didn't want to leave, but; then she thought about Clarke, and realized If there was one person she absolutely couldn't live without, it was her baby girl.  
Marcus smiled, understanding her need to return home.   
"Have a safe drive. I'll see you tomorrow."  
Abby pulled her feet from his bed and carefully stood up, pushing against the chair for support.   
"I'll see you tomorrow," she said looking down on him.  
Abby stepped towards the door, but a voice behind her stopped her from reaching for the handle.  
"Abby," Marcus said stopping her.  
"Hm," she hummed, turning her head, but not her body, too look at him.  
He laughed to himself before explaining his sudden interference, "why did you do it? Why did you choose to forgive me?"  
Abby's chest felt heavy. He was never going to understand why she forgave him, so why did she need to explain a second time? Abby moved her body so that she was fully facing him.  
"Because, you were sick," she began, "But you're sickness wasn't a virus or an infection, it was a plague. And it was curable, but contagious and deadly. It was that you would bleed and suffer until you died. And just as you were dying, just when you were about to suck in your last breath of air, the one doctor who was the most fearful of this plague, said 'fuck it' and helped you on your feet. That's why I forgave you, because I saw your struggles and fears, and in them I saw mine, and at that moment, I wasn't afraid anymore."  
He let her explanation linger in the air around them. They stared into each other for what felt like years, and neither wanted to look away.   
"I was sick, but," Marcus sighed, a small smile tugging the edges of his lip, "thanks for the hand, it took you long enough."  
"That whole speech and that's all you can say! Whoof, I might just push you back down!"  
His small smile evolved into a small laugh, brining a sweet sound to his ears as it mixed with hers.  
"Thank you, Abs. I was only joking."  
Abby opened the door and turned around before heading out, "I know you were," she smiled.   
Just as she was to leave, however, she spun back, catching his attention again, "my house, 10 am, Tuesday?"  
"Works for me."  
Marcus watched her quietly as she left. Only once he heard the door click closed did he throw his hands in the air.   
"Yes!" he exclaimed to himself, smiling at his victory. As he brought his arms down, he ran his hands through his hair, and leaned back again against the pillows. Marcus didn't notice the tired feeling in his body until then, a yawn escaping his mouth. When he closed his eyes, he saw Abby. She sat alone, her long, sandy hair flowing down her back and shoulders. With red lips and brown eyes, she smiled into the sun. The though calmed Marcus, and he slowly fell into a deep sleep, a smile still spread across his lips.  
§₩§  
"Marcus Kane?" A giddy and red-headed nurse asked, pushing a wheelchair into the small patients room.  
Marcus was already getting ready to leave, with his shirt partway on, and shoes still left on the floor. It was almost a sad feeling that swept over him at the sight of a wheelchair. He knew that there was no way in Hell he'd be letting someone push him out into public when he was perfectly capable of doing it himself.  
"Oh, that won't be necessary," he told her politely and respectfully, pulling his shirt over his head, and flattening out the rest across his stomach and chest.  
"I'm sorry, Mr. Kane, but we don't want you keeling over in the lobby now do we?" She jumped again, her high pitched voice echoing through the room.  
He grabbed his boots off the floor towards the end of his bed, and sat down. He knew he had a short fuse, especially towards her annoying voice and preppy attitude, and it was definitely growing shorter.  
"Please, I'm not in the mood for arguing, and I already signed the release papers, I'll be fine."  
He looked down to his shoes, carefully untying the laces and slipping his right one on. He could hear noises above him but he didn't bother looking up. Once he had his shoe on he moved to his left. Once he was finished and ready to stand, he wanted to scream when he saw the nurse smiling right in front of him, the wheelchair at her side.   
Marcus had to admit, it was the creepiest thing he'd even seen, and he'd been in some interesting situations.  
"Please," he laughed, motioning with his hands too back off,"I have no time for this."  
Standing from the bed, he stepped around her and the wheelchair, exiting the stuffy room he'd spent way to many nights in for his liking.   
He walked quickly down the hall and towards the elevator, never taking the risk to peer behind his back. He quickened his pace as he noticed the doors quickly begin too close. A distressed sigh escaped his lips as he watched his chance to escape slowly fade away, and leave without him. He felt like he was in a high speed chase. The sound of clicking heels could be heard behind him, and he was never, ever, going to allow that nurse the pleasure of pushing him outside. He made a beeline for the stairs, throwing open the door and quickly stepping down, floor after floor. He never stopped too catch his breath until he reached the lobby.  
Marcus expected himself to walk outside, feel the cold winter breeze blow through his hair, the sound of horns Echo through the streets, and the smell of pollution tear apart his sense of smell. Then he would call for a cab, only to be turned down time and time again. And when he finally did manage to grab a car of his own, the cabbie would be a man or women in their 40s, appearing too be 80, and coughing so much they might blow out a lung. Not to mention the strong, overpowering smell of cigarettes trapped by the dirty glass and cold metal. Finally, he would give them his address and they'd be off, down the road to his lonely home, where he'd sit and wait for Tuesday to pop around. But, that wasn't what happened at all. Actually, it was quiet different.  
As Marcus pushed open the stairway door, his eyes were immediately transfixed on the back of Abby's head. She wasn't supposed too be working that day so, why was she there? Marcus looked around and behind him, confused and worried. Had something happened to Clarke? Or to her? He didn't know, but he was going to find out. He took a few slow and cautious steps behind her as she leaned against the coffee counter, watching people as they passed her by.  
"Abby?" He asked, nudging her shoulder,"what's wrong?"  
When she turned around, a confused expression was painted across her face. She remained struck until she processed who he was and what he was saying.  
"Marcus," she gasped, turning around to face him, "I'm sorry, you startled me!"  
"Is everything ok, Abby?"  
"No- I mean, yes- yes it's fine. I just uhm... I brought you coffee!" She smiled, taking a white, hot, cup off the table next to her. He noted the name 'Marcus' written sloppily in sharpie across the top.  
He smiled and laughed awkwardly, taking the drink with thanks.  
"Why are you at work?" He asked without taking a drink right away.  
"Well... Um... I-I remembered you got out today so... I'm you're ride!" Abby muttered her words, almost like she was embarrassed to have shown up.  
Marcus smiled at her loss of words.   
"Thank you for the ride then."  
"Well, I thought it'd be better than taking a cab. Cmon, let's get out of here, it makes me think of working."  
She sighed, the thought of work now sprung in her head. So much to do yet, such a nice break to look forward to.   
Abby began heading towards the door, and Marcus stood beside her. Surprisingly, there weren't as many people as there normally were on a Tuesday, making the parking lot a little easier to get around in.  
Marcus took a deep breath as he went outside, the cold making his body shiver. The smell reminded him of the night he chased after Abby. All the lost words and wet faces. He tried to push the thought from his head, wanting too forget the past, and live in the now. The day was cloudy, as usual, and it seemed too help bring his spirit up a little more. After all, he always enjoyed cloudy days better than sunny.  
Because of Abby's position at the hospital, she had great parking, and it wasn't too long before her and Marcus escaped the cold December wind. Her vehicle was much nicer than Marcus's could ever be. She even had heating, and Marcus had gone so long without a heating or cooling system in his truck that it had become almost foreign too him.  
The vehicle shook as Abby turned the key and put it into motion, carefully backing from her space.   
"Address?" She asked as she checked her mirrors.  
"8250 Oak Country Lane"  
"That isn't to terribly far from me, maybe ten minutes"  
Marcus took a sip of his coffee, burning his tongue on the hot liquid.   
"I guess I pry should get your address for Tuesday."  
Abby smiled, "I'll just pick you up, it'll be easier."  
Marcus smiled back and nodded his head in agreement, staring out the window at the passing buildings and pedestrians. The rest of their trip was something neither of them hoped to forget. They laughed until Abby was worried she'd crash, and Marcus almost managed to spill his coffee all over the leather seats. Abby's laugh sent shivers down Marcus's spine, and a rushing sensation through his veins.  
Abby thought the same. His dark eyes looked into her with a soft yet hard stare. She felt warm and content just by his glance, a striking sensation electrifying through her body. She had longed to be able to speak to a man as easily and happily as she could with Jake. And, surprisingly, Marcus Kane was the answer.  
They both cursed under their breaths as Abby pulled into his driveway. She looked to his red door as it reminded her of the Christmas ornaments that decorated her tree, especially the one Clarke made in kindergarten.  
"Thank you for the ride... And the coffee," Marcus told her sweetly, lifting his cup to her.  
"Was it better than the cab?"  
"I would rather have walked," he mocked, getting a smile from her lips.  
"Get out of here!" She shoved his shoulder with her hand. Marcus's straight face was wiped away with a laugh.  
"I'm going, I'm going!" He cried, reaching for the handle of the door. He felt his eyes water as the cold wind chilled him to the bone.  
"Cya, Abs," he hollered before closing the door behind him. She wished she had the chance too say goodbye as well but, it was too late, he was already unlocking the door to his home.


	6. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby and Marcus have no patience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this chapter, my favorite character is Finn

Abby waited eagerly for Tuesday to come. Two days have never gone by so slowly, and she was willing to do anything to make the time go by faster. Clean the house, finally finish sewing her drapes, bake sweets, even organize the basement. As long as her mind was off her excitement.  
Clarke easily recognized her current change of mood, smiling whenever she saw her mother take on a new task. Came Sunday night, and Clarke couldn't keep her curiosity contained any longer.   
As Abby carefully dusted every inch of their living room, that she'd already dusted three times over, Clarke couldn't help but laugh as she watched on the couch.   
"So," she smiled, breaking the silence,"what are you excited about?"  
Abby knew this conversation would be coming and prepared her speech yet, as Clarke asked her about the elephant in the room, her words seemed to have disappeared.   
She glanced back at Clarke before returning her attention to the fireplace mantel.   
"I'm going out of Tuesday, just a little excited is all."  
"With who!?" Clarke Jumped, interested in her affair.  
"Marcus Kane," Abby muttered quietly and quickly, hoping Clarke couldn't hear her, and shrug it off.  
However, she knew Clarke heard her when a heavy silence filled the room. Abby stopped dusting and sighed, bowing her head towards the floor.   
"Before you get mad," Abby sighed, turning around, "you need to hear the whole thing."  
"What do you mean 'the whole thing?' He murdered dad, and now he's gonna replace him?" Clarke spat, furious at her mothers recent confession.  
"Clarke-no, it... It isn't like that. He didn't murder your father..."  
Clarke raised her eyebrows at her mother, "...intentionally..." She added awkwardly, knowing Clarke didn't need to hear anymore.  
"Oh that just makes a HUGE difference doesn't it, mom. You know you're supposed to hate him, not fall head over heels for him. And, another thing, you've hate-"  
"Clarke," Abby yelled,"I've heard his story, I've witnessed and seen his pain, and I forgave him."  
Clarke didn't move, she held her breath in her lungs. She'd never been yelled at by her mother before, and never thought she would be. She could see a small tear slowly descend down her mothers cheek, a sudden feeling of regret in her gut. She didn't know how Abby forgave him, how she just flung it off her shoulder as if nothing happened?  
"Please, Clarke," Abby said strong yet politely,"your father was a sweet man, but; he was dangerous and, if he was still alive, you wouldn't have the education, friends, and really everything you have now," she paused before continuing,"I know Marcus has caused a lot of pain between us and, I know you don't see him as the good guy, but; maybe there are no good guys."  
Clarke trusted her mother greatly, knowing her decisions were always smart and well thought out. But, how she thought these ideas was completely unfamiliar with Clarke. She always had the idea that Marcus didn't do it, mainly because she refused too believe he would ever do such a thing to a friend. But actually hearing it, saying it out loud, was a whole new feeling in her. Clarke didn't know what too do, or what too say and Abby was becoming worried of her silence.  
"Please, Clarke, give him one chance," she pleaded to her daughter. Abby didn't know what else too do or say. She didn't want to invite friends for dinner or anything to her home if Clarke didn't approve, it was her home too.  
"Fine, I'll give him one chance," Clarke spat with a hard and authoritative tone.   
Abby wanted too laugh, she may be good with getting Clarkes opinion on things, but; Abby was her mother, and she was in charge.   
"When is he coming?" She asked, her voice deep and annoyed.  
"I'm picking him up this Tuesday to go Christmas shopping, and I invited him for Christmas dinner."  
"MOM. What the hell? He w-"  
"Clarke," Abby cut her off softly,"for several years, Christmas has been you and me. We have no other family, and he doesn't either! That's something we have in common, and it could be your first step in forgiving him. He did it for our protection, and; I wish there could've been another way too but, there wasn't."  
Clarke was silent for a few moments before standing from the couch and heading towards the stairs. She edged up a few steps before stopping and looking back to Abby.   
"If he hurts you or me, I'm going too murder him myself."  
Abby was secretly smiling inside, that was Clarke. She knew Clarke was stubborn, just like herself, and that is was going to be hard to get her too see that maybe the situation wasn't as bad as it was first thought to be. But, now that the conversation she was secretly hiding from Clarke was over, she felt her body suddenly become lighter. They were in this together, and that's all that mattered. Now all Abby had to do was sit and wait for Tuesday to roll around.  
§₩§  
Marcus was just as excited as Abby was, and could barely go ten minutes without looking at the clock. His excitement rising higher and higher at each passing moment. He'd never been so eager before, and didn't know what to do with his time he had. He started by showering, brushing his teeth, taking his prescription Vicodin, to help with the pain in his chest and burned skin. Lucky for him, his leg no longer was an inconvenience, just an eyesore in his mind. He tried his hardest to ignore the scars, pretend they weren't there. But that meant to never look in the mirror.  
The house was a mess because of his absence, the windows dirty and floors dusty. Even his goldfish, Finn, was swimming in dirty water. But, lucky for them both, it lived off of food tablets. Marcus wasn't exactly fond of cleaning, but; it passed the time. As he swept the dark wood floors and wiped down the kitchen counters, he wondered what Abby was doing, If she was just as excited about Tuesday as he was.   
"It's only Monday," he said said to himself as he wiped out Finns bowl in the sink, "you still have quiet a few hours. Besides, she's probably dreading inviting you to dinner."  
He felt unhinged as he looked up and out the window, surprised at how fast the sun had disappeared below the horizon leaving only a dark glow.  
"Why am I talking to myself?" He asked himself,"because I'm going to go crazy if I don't see Abby soon."   
Marcus looked down again at Finns bowl, realizing it was as clean as it could get. He put the colored rocks and fake plants in the bottom and filled it with water, grabbing his fish and putting him back as well. Once he was finished, he put him back on the shelf and watched as he swam back and fourth, leaning against the wall.  
"Isn't that right, Finn, I'm so lonely I have too talk to a goldfish," he sighed.  
Marcus never had the time for love. After his father died, and he was accepted into college, his life was as fast as a freight train, and love was something that existed only in his thoughts. However, he'd always wanted to feel what love felt like. He wondered if the strange feelings that ran through him now were the same feelings that ran through Romeo the moment he laid eyes on Juliet. He remembered his affair with Callie, a long haired brunette from Connecticut. She was a nice girl but, they both knew their relationship was just too fill each other's sexual needs when they were still together for three months, even after getting into numerous arguments. When six months rolled around, and Callie moved away across the states, neither of them were upset.  
Once Marcus realized he'd been watching his fish swim in circles for five minutes, he finally realized how boring he really was, "God I'm lame, no wonder I haven't a date" he laughed to himself, taking his weight from the wall and making his way back to the kitchen. He went directly towards his whiskey, taking a sip not from a cup, but straight from the bottle. Marcus knew he was an alcoholic, and he tried too fight it, but; it was his friend, it soothed him, like Abby.  
With the glass in hand he went around the kitchen counter and into the living room, taking a seat on the couch.   
'Maybe this will make the time go by faster,' he thought to himself as he took several large swigs of alcohol, his tongue savoring the flavor.   
As the night wore on, and his body became more and more numb, the time seemed to fly by.  
§₩§  
By Tuesday morning, Abby couldn't contain her feelings any longer. She could barely sleep the night before, and as she hooked her silver wheat link bracelet to her wrist, she could feel herself become sleepy. She didn't hear her daughter enter the room, and her voice made her almost jump from her skin.  
"Does he know?" Clarke asked softly.  
Abby jumped a little, looking into the mirror at Clarke. She cleared her throat, trying to compose herself.   
"Yes, he does, I told him awhile back."  
"What'd he say?"  
"That he was sorry."  
Clarke chuckled at Marcus's reaction,"he's sorry? That's bull. If he could do it all over again, he pro-" She stopped when she noticed her mothers angry and annoyed expression.   
"Sorry," Clarke apologized softly,"I said I'd give him a chance, and I plan on keeping that promise."  
"Clarke, you don't even need to see him until Christmas."  
"I know, I know. So, when's he picking you up," she asked.  
"I'm picking him up, h-"  
Clarke almost exploded, "HE WHAT? He's not picking you up?"  
Abby fumbled with her words, a laugh almost escaping her throat, "Clarke! Calm down. His truck doesn't even have a heater, and I volunteered to anyways."  
"Then why doesn't he get a new vehicle?"  
"I don't know Clarke!" Abby threw her hands in the air, becoming frustrated with Clarke's arguing, "it was his fathers or something."  
Clarke sighed, looking to her mother with worried eyes, "just- be safe, ok?"  
Abby smiled at her daughter, proud of her worrying about her mother. She turned from the mirror and walked up to Clarke, hugging her goodbye,"I will Clarke, promise."  
Clarke returned the smile, and hugged Abby back.  
Once her and Clarke parted ways, Abby made her way down the stairs and towards the door, grabbing her brown leather coat on her way out. As she opened the door, a blast of polar wind embraced her fragile frame. She was thankful of her warm jeans and full coat that help protect her from the cold. Rushing through the tumbling leaves roll in the wind, it only took her seconds to get to her car. She struggled getting the key into its socket and, when she finally did get it, forgot to close the door, and press the brake. She sighed at her frustration and nervousness. She slammed the door closed and forced her foot into the break, turning her keys hard.   
"I'm a mess," she sighed to herself, peering behind her as she backed out of their driveway.


	7. Shattered Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcus is a mess, Abby saves the day, and sexy time comes to play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little sexy time here, but it's not bad (mainly because I'm still not very comfortable with the whole smut writing(although I do like reading it XD))

Abby rehearsed what she was going to say to Marcus the whole way there. Going over line after line, she wasn't going to embarrass herself in front of him. This was her one chance to let him know that they really were ok, and ready for a fresh start. She knew he didn't believe her, and she just wanted him to realize that it really was time for a fresh start, that Abby really did believe him.  
Pulling into his drive, Abby felt her stomach being fluttered by butterflies. 'You can do this Abby, don't choke,' she thought to herself as she stepped out of her car, her heels clicking on the cement as she made her route to his door. She ran her fingers lightly across the wooden railing that followed three wooden steps, leading to his small porch, a swing off the the side. It was cold, but the smooth feeling that trailed her fingertips subdued her feelings of fear and nervousness. She took a few steps across the porch to his door, the red paint reflecting through her eyes. Admiring the gold knocker on his door, she tried too stall. It was a fairly old house, and the carving and metalwork she knew was all handmade.  
'Stop getting distracted about your stupid house obsession and knock on the damn door,' Abby thought to herself, pulling down the ends of her coat and fixing her hair. She was going for the casual look, not to much, but just enough to look decent and courteous.   
Raising her hand, she grabbed a hold of the cold, metal knocker and hit the door several times. She waited for a few moments, listening for any signs of activity on the inside. After a few moments of silence, except for the rustling of leaves and screaming of the wind on the pavement, Abby tried again. Taking the knocker she hit a little harder, hoping the problem was in his lack of hearing. Again, Abby waited, and again, no answer. She grew impatient to frustrated to worried. He just got out of the hospital, what if he's hurt again? What if he had another panic attack? Or stopped breathing?  
Abby began to pound on the door with her fist, hard and loud.   
"Marcus," she said, it wasn't a yell, but it was loud enough to be heard from the inside, "Marcus," she repeated, again banging on the door.   
After repeated attempts, and no response, she tried the handle, locked.   
Abby thought for a moment, thinking back to many, many years before.   
Abby began to walk around the porch, feeling for loose boards. Each one she found she attempted to pry up, with no luck. Finally, after a few minutes of loosing hope, Abby pried up a board, revealing a small key taped to the bottom. She smiled, proud of herself.  
Taking the old metal key, she slid it into the hole. Glancing to question the strange scratch marks that decorated the slot. They could be anything, and her mind forgot all about the hint of what she would find inside. After a few twists, she finally was able to push the door open, stepping quietly onto the wood floors inside. There was only one lamp on, and the heavily clouded sky blocked most natural light from filtering through the windows. She closed the door behind her, taking a few more steps deeper into his home. "Marcus?" Abby called, scanning the dark, eerie setting, her hand gliding against the wall. She would have missed him if it weren't for the glass that surrounded the wall across the living room, a red smear on the paint, and a strange liquid soaking into the wood. As she went around the couch, Abby froze in her place. She felt her heart rise into her chest, a grim feeling rose through her body, she didn't know whether to scream in anger, or collapse in sadness and grief.  
Marcus's back leaned against the couch, his eyes closed and skin sweaty. He wasn't moving all except the heavy rise and fall of his chest, he breathed as if he were running. Abby knelt to his side, cupping his cheeks with both hands.   
"Marcus," she said, trying to wake him, he showed no answer. "Marcus," Abby repeated, louder, more desperate than before. Her eyes were wide, her skin cold. Abby knew fear, but she'd never felt anything like this before. Her shoulders felt heavy, her lungs, as if they could burst. She wanted to shiver. She finally gasped, whispering his name just because she wanted to hear it, "Marcus."  
Abby's heart skipped a beat when she saw his eyes flutter open. A raspy breath escaping his lips. He looked at her in fear and sadness, a feeling Abby knew all to well. Marcus lifted his hand to his cheek, putting it over hers. She felt warm to his touch, wanting for him to never let go. That was until she saw the blood on his knuckles, falling down his hand onto his arm. She looked behind her at the wall, the glass, putting all the pieces together. "You're not supposed to be drinking, Marcus," she said softly, looking him right in the eyes. But, he showed no sign of understanding, just a blank stare. She let go of him then, letting his hand fall with a quiet thud to the floor. Abby was going to stand when she noticed an orange canister next to him. She didn't even have to ask what it was. Vicodin was a dangerous drug to prescribe, it was easy too become addicted. Especially for those already addicted to alcohol or other substances. She cursed to herself over the mistake, making a mental note to immediately take him off the medication when she had the chance.  
Marcus did nothing as Abby went away, towards the bathroom. She wasn't an expert on where he kept things around the house but, she figured Marcus's health-kit would be somewhere like so. She was proud of her correct guess, taking the red pouch from under the sink. Standing to close the cupboards, she couldn't see Marcus's hand from behind the couch in the mirrors reflection. It didn't take long for her to be back at his side, sighing in relief that he had only change position. His knees were brought up to his chest, his head resting against his arms, and dark hair falling to the side. As Abby grabbed his hand, preparing to wrap it in clean bandages, he slowly lifted his head, leaning it back to rest against the couch. The next few minutes were full of silence as Abby wrapped his knuckles and wiped away blood. She made sure to be careful, not wanting to hurt his hands any more. Every once in a while she would glance up, and every time, he would be looking at her. Marcus didn't speak until Abby was finished wrapping his hand, and even then it wasn't much.  
"I'm sober," he mumbled, looking down to the ground.  
A few continued moments went by before Abby responded to his remark, "what happened? She asked softly, her hand holding his.  
He opened his eyes then, staring up confusingly at the ceiling, his face a mix of expressions.  
"I remembered..." He gasped, his eyes becoming watered, "I-... I remembered the taste of blood, and... and the smell of musty air. The screams, Abby... they're haunting me," a tear fell from his eyes, trailing down the side of his face, he closed his eyes, putting his head forward and into his head, he was going to continue, but he couldn't. The only sound that escaped his throat was a quiet sob. Abby wrapped him in her arms, stroking his head and whispering into his ear.  
"Shhh, Marcus," she whispered softly, "it's ok, everything's going to be ok."  
"No, Abby," he mumbled, raising his head, looking her in the eyes, "Abby..." He paused, not knowing whether to continue or not, "Abby, I love you... more than I've ever loved anybody before. But I know that you will never love me back, no matter how well you hide it, I know you'll always hate me, because I don't deserve your love. So go home, you don't need to keep torturing yourself."  
Abby didn't know what to say. She was relieved, yet scared. Happy, yet sad. There were so many emotions mixed into her veins, her mind went almost blank. The feeling she had when she met Jake, when they touched, was something she'd never thought she'd feel again. But, she was right. Because with Marcus it was stronger. So much more powerful and addictive. She craved him every second she wasn't around him. The past didn't scare her anymore. This was the present.  
"No, Marcus, I love you too, and I'm not going anywhere."  
Abby could see his eyes shine with relief, but she didn't watch his expression change, because she couldn't take it any longer. Closing her eyes, she grabbed his cheeks and pulled his lips to hers. Marcus was surprised at her sudden action, but it didn't take him long to react. He moved his hands to her hips as he kissed her back. Abby mover hers to his hair, carefully rolling her fingers through his thick locks. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, gently sucking and kissing her sensitive skin. She gasped at the feeling, wishing it too never end. The feel of his callused hands on her back. His mouth exploring every inch of her body. Him on top of her. He was a drug, and she had an addiction.  
As Marcus moved his mouth back to hers, Abby let go of his hair and put her hands atop of his, pulling them from her waist. After a few moments, she stood up, taking his hands in hers. He groaned in displeasure, wanting her more. She only smiled, and helped him from the ground, taking his hands and slowly leading them towards the hallway. Marcus's mind was racing with so many thoughts, were they ready for this? It's only been a few weeks, was she sure this is what she wanted? He knew that what he had was more than he could ever ask for, and he wasn't about to screw it up. As Abby led the way, he pulled himself to her, kissing her lips lightly, forcing her to stop at the hallways entrance. She was about to reach for his hair when he slowly pulled away, moving so he could whisper in her ear.  
"Is this what you want," he said, moving back to look into her eyes, his forehead resting gently on hers.  
She thought he was crazy for asking such a question, "I said I wasn't leaving, didn't I?" Abby whispered as she looked up into his eyes, Barely able too finish her sentence before she had to kiss him again, they were so just close. She could feel his hearts pulse as she grabbed his wrist, his chest rising against hers, and his light scruff brushing against her chin. After minutes of standing so close to his room, Abby couldn't take it anymore. She turned away from him in a quick turn and started down the hall, leaving Marcus to follow, which he did without hesitation. She didn't know exactly where she was going, but it wasn't hard to assume it was the last room.  
By the time Marcus was able to follower her inside, her shirt was already off, and he had only seconds to look at her beautiful skin before she was kissing his lips again. He trailed his fingers along her back, making small circles that sent pleasing shivers up Abby's spine. Slowly, he made his way up to her bra, carefully working to unhook the back. After countless tries, he became frustrated. Abby noticed his anger and moved her hands back to meet his, unhooking it for him.  
"Thanks," he breathed as he pulled away from her lips,"why do they make those so hard?" He smiled.  
Abby laughed, "too keep out wandering hands."  
She didn't let him respond, instead she kissed him again. He was a magnet, he pulled her in and she couldn't resist his thick hair, or scarred face, or deep voice. So she didn't fight it, she fell into it, was embraced by it. Her stage of denial was over, and it was time to face the fact that Abby Griffin loved Marcus Kane.  
He fumbled with his shirt, pulling it up so that he could get it over his head. Abby went for her pants, Marcus doing the same. It wasn't long before they were displayed in front of one another, exposed, vulnerable. But, neither of them cared. Marcus loved the scars trailing down her arms, a long line that trailed down her stomach. They were like art on a canvas, soft strokes, creating a beautiful portrait. He gasped at the feeling of her skin on his, the weight of her on top of him. She was so light, so frail. He was afraid if he squeezed her waist just a little that she would cry out in pain. He'd been with plenty of women, but never anyone like this. Never anyone so beautiful, so soft, so passionate. There was lighting thundering through his veins, and as he came with her, the rain blocked his vision, and the rest of the day became unforgettable.


	8. Warm Welcomes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcus and Abby have an adventure, and Clarke makes a reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why, but I really like this chapter  
> Btw there's a little more sexy time JUST in the RIGHT beginning, and it's not bad, and it's not a lot.... Just saying.... So if ur at work or school.... It shouldn't really be that bad....

Marcus breathed heavy against Abby's neck, her hands wrapped around his, their legs entwined together. She gasped as they moved together, and was thankful they were alone as she came, her body trembling with pleasure. For a few moments she couldn't move, almost as if she was frozen in place, her mind swarming with thoughts. Marcus, on the other hand, couldn't hold his body above hers any longer, his arms beginning to weaken. He carefully rolled off of her, wrapping his arm so that he could hold her tiny frame.  
"I-I'm sorry, Abby," Marcus gasped out of breath, letting go and sitting up, swinging his feet off the bed, his back to her.  
Abby looked too him, confused, wondering what he could possibly be sorry about now. She wanted it, he wanted it. If he was about to apologize for his actions, he was definitely in for a rude awakening.

"For what?"  
"We had plans to spend time with one another and I... I fucked it up pretty badly," he laughed quietly at his own stupidity. The plan was to prepare for Christmas, not get drunk, punch the wall, and have sex with the women who's husband he murdered.   
'How could I do this to her?' He thought, 'violate her, hurt her.'   
"Abby, I love you, I love you a lot. And I'm sorry I-"  
"Marcus," Abby demanded, immediately sitting up to sit next to him, "I don't know what the Hell you're getting at, but I'm not listening. I don't know if you had forgotten, but we just established our feelings, and what we did was for the both of us."  
She was infuriated. God damn that man for having to say sorry after every little incident or problem, like all the worlds problems were because of him. Could he not wrap his head around the fact that she consented to him? Was he still a little loopy from the pills and alcohol? Or did he just seem to forget? Abby didn't know, and Abby didn't care, she just wanted him to know that sorry can't and doesn't exist in his world.  
There was a silence that filled the room with loneliness and question. Abby's ears began to ring, and there was nothing she wanted more than to put their conversation behind them.   
"Sometimes it's best for you to not say sorry, so shut up, you're being annoying," she smirked, nudging his naked shoulder.  
There was a tug on the corner of his mouth, and Abby was glad he was able to get a little change in emotion out of him. He looked into her eyes, about to say something, until he looked back to the floor.   
"What?" Abby asked, "don't shut up I didn't mean it literally."  
She was grateful to hear his laugh, even if it was small and quiet, even when it died completely and he was still left staring at the floor, because it was something.  
"This just isn't how I thought this day would go. I missed seeing you everyday, and I missed talking to you everyday. I thought maybe a drink or two would make the time go faster. Plus the Vicodin It- I got a little out of hand," he finally said, a nervousness in his voice. He looked up to Abby then, and she gave him her full attention, "Abby, when you told me you loved me back, I felt... different, almost like my body didn't weigh a thing. That's how much I had on my shoulders, how much worry was stuck in my chest. You need too know that my love for you is stronger than my lust, even if it may not seem like that now."  
This time, Abby was the one to look slowly down to the floor, Marcus awaiting her answer patiently. She was silent for quiet some time, and he began to question If what he said was good. What if she didn't love him the way he did her? What if all she did was lust?   
'Do you really love me?' Was the only question that stuck in Marcus's head. It echoed through his skull, bouncing off every wall. It took him everything to not let it break the empty silence.  
Marcus lifted his head as Abby finally looked to him again. When he expected to see eyes lonely and cold, he was surprised at hers that were brighter than the stars.  
"I wasn't expecting the day to go like this either but, what can you do? It's good we got what we needed to say off of our chests. Marcus, I love you too, and it's not just lust. I know it's more than that, I can feel it inside me. But, stop saying 'sorry' all the time, it I won't be afraid to be the one to send you back to the hospital."  
Standing from the bed, Abby missed his reaction, and began to dress. It wasn't long before Marcus did the same, and neither of them spoke a word.   
It was a comfortable silence. Bit awkward, but not heated, it was just silence. By the time Abby was decent and dressed, Marcus had already left the room, towards the kitchen. She followed him, a curiosity nipping at the back of her mind. Why was he in such a hurry? She didn't know what to do as she watched him pick up the pieces of the broken bottle. Each shard ringing in his hand. He had trouble picking be smaller pieces as his bandaged hand became a nuisance. Abby took a few more steps towards where he stood.  
"Marcus, be careful, you could hurt your hand even more."  
He laughed as he turned towards her, hands full of glass, "it's my fault there's glass everywhere. Someone has to clean it up."  
Abby sighed. She'd been arguing with him quiet often lately, and she was sick of it, so she held her words. Instead, there wasn't much too do but help him. There were a few pieces of glass near her feet, which she carefully bent down and took in her hand, taking them to the trash. Going back to the living room, she continued to pick up and shards she saw on the floor, using only the dim natural light for help. Marcus didn't notice her until he accidentally hit her shoulder on the way to the trash.  
He froze for a few moments, holding his breath, looking at her almost as in disbelief she was there.   
His expression softened as he exhaled slowly, like he was relieved.  
"Go home, Abby, I can clean this up," he said under his breath.  
"I still have shopping, and your still coming, aren't you?"  
"I didn't realize I was still invited," he commented ashamed as he left the room to rid of the bottles remains.  
Abby waited patiently for his return, all the glass being picked from the floor.  
"Well, it's only three, we can get it done by then. Plus, it'll be fun."  
Marcus smiled, unsure on what his final answer should be. He could go, spend time with Abby, with the lingering thought of what had just happened still in the back of his mind. Or, he could stay, alone, with his full attention on Abby and their 'closeness.' Waiting for disaster to strike, for him to pull out another bottle of whiskey, destroying the house searching for Vicodin that wasn't there. He had two options, and one chance.  
"Alright, I'll go. Just let me use the restroom first," he said, happy to see Abby smile at his answer. She looked as if she would start jumping up and down soon.  
"That's fine! I'll meet you in the car?"  
"Deal"  
Abby immediately turned for the door, loosing her breath as the polar air swept through her hair. Marcus waited until the door was slammed closed, making the house shudder. Immediately, he entered the kitchen, heading straight for the alcohol cabinet. Carefully, he grabbed every bottle, lining them up next to the sink. Only once the whole cabinet was empty did he start draining each one down the drain, and he didn't stop until every bottle was empty. One by one he watched as every Amber and clear liquid disappeared, never too ruin his life again. Marcus knew this was his chance, his chance for a new beginning, one without the vial temptation. Finishing up the last few drinks, he left the empty glasses on the counter, and grabbed his coat, heading outside to join Abby.  
§₩§  
Their shopping adventure was definitely anther thing entirely. Store after store, mall after mall, it seemed that everything they were looking for was working against them. It only took four different stores to find the sweater Clarke wanted, and three trips up and down the stairs, just to find the right store for art materials that Clarke made clear she couldn't live without. What Abby thought would be an easy and fun trip turned into a nightmare, and she felt sympathy for Marcus, whom she thought was probably dreading saying yes. However, he was in fact completely different. It'd been a long time since he got the chance to get out and about. He'd been in the hospital for so long, his breathing so raggedy and skin so sore, that leaving to face the world sounded like leaving for war. He even got the chance to learn more about Abby. Except for the small talk exchanged in the hospital, he didn't really know too much about her life, her family, her favorite color, or what she liked too do for fun. It was all a mystery, until now. Until he finally got a chance to just sit and listen, let her mouth keep moving and moving until every word she'd ever need to say was said. Her voice was like the sound of mountain steams, smooth and calm, bringing peace to all those who listened.   
Marcus had been stuck for quiet some time on what to get Abby. A new dress? Wine? An ornament? Nothing came to mind, he didn't know what she liked, and nothing he could think of pleased him or made him proud enough to present it too her. That was until a single, lonely comment that brought his imagination to a dark and vivid image.   
As they passed a bustling store, full of different flowers and leaves, Marcus's eyes immediately fell on a lonely bonsai tree.   
"My mother used to take great care of this bonsai tree we had. She said 'it's a symbol of hope,' so I never questioned her."  
Abby had seemed to answer with great interest, asking all sorts of questions about the trees. Commenting her love for their interesting forms, and beautiful leaves. Marcus never understood women and plants, but Abby seemed to love them just as much as his mother once had.  
The rest of their adventure was spent talking about one another's families, their interests, and really anything that came to mind. Besides to Clarke, Abby had never felt so comfortable sharing as much information as she was, especially to a man as different as Marcus Kane. But, it felt that she could share her darkest secrets with him, and he wouldn't be the one to judge. Every word, every sentence she spoke, she didn't regret one bit of it. She knew she had this once before, she had it with Jake. In the old Abby Griffin, she would ignore the elephant in the room, pretend it wasn't there. She would sit and stare at it but make no notion to its presence. Then, days would go by, Marcus would be forgiven, but they'd never see one another again. Now that he was respectfully laid off and had no business in the morgue, life would go on. But, this new Abby Griffin, had an entirely new way of thinking. Abby, as well as Marcus, had made their feelings for each other quiet clear, and she knew full on that he gave her the same sensation in her stomach as Jake did. How they could both lay there, her head atop his body, listening to his heartbeat, feeling his chest move up and down with his breath. She wondered if she would ever get to experience that feeling again, if Marcus wanted it too. Or was she just in too deep?  
When Abby returned home, making sure to hide all the gifts in various locations around her room, she was thankful for Clarke being clearly absent. She had three days to rearrange the house, set up Christmas decorations, and prepare for dinner. There was only going to be three people, but it was Christmas, and that meant one word, food.  
Clarke was angry when she came home around ten, hoping too sleep, only to find her mother wrapping garland around the stairs.   
"Clarke?! Oh, good you're home! Could you help me wrap this?"  
"Mom? It's ten o'clock at night, why are you decorating?"  
"Clarke, if you help me wrap this garland, I won't question where you were or what you were doing this late."  
That caught her attention, and it took only seconds for her to spring onto the stairs, and begin wrapping the green decoration around the handle. Abby laughed too herself. She knew Clarke was at Bellamy's, but she decided too stay her words, she could use them against her later.  
After they were done, it took Clarke lots of arguing too get Abby into bed, but eventually it worked, and she laid down for a good nights sleep, only to wake up in the morning and start again. It was the day before Christmas Eve, and Abby was in full on panic mode. Garland, wreaths, mistletoe, lights, food. Everything needed to be done, and she had so little time too do it. She made sure her favorite wreath, a pine needle and boysenberry circlet, was hung on the front door. The neighbor boys, Monty and Jasper, were good kids, and volunteered to hang their Christmas lights upon the roof, a friendly gesture that Abby happily agreed too. They were done fast, and it didn't take long for her white, icicle like Christmas lights to sway back and fourth in the wind. Abby smiled at the big, happy Christmas tree that stood tall by their fireplace each time she walked by. It's many multicolored bulbs and wide variety of ornaments, especially the ones made by Clarke when she was little, really made the spruce stand out.  
There was also the tradition of mistletoe that always made the house feel more complete. Abby was happy to see her favorite bustle wasn't ruined up in the attic, and found great joy when she was able to hang it from the front doorway, admiring it's beauty.  
"Who you gonna kiss?" Abby jumped when she heard Clarke's voice behind her.  
"Who know."  
"Oh, I think I know," Clarke rolled her eyes in a sarcastic tone, heading towards the fridge.  
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Abby replied with annoyance in her Throat. Clarke's attitude hadn't been very good the past few days, and Abby couldn't hold back anymore, she needed too know what was wrong.  
"I'm sure when Kane comes you two will hit it off great." Clarke hissed, pouring some eggnog into a small glass.  
"Clarke, I am done with your bickering and harsh tone. Marcus is coming as a friend, and you said you were going too give him a chance. I don't see why you are still so annoyed at the fact tha-" Abby closed her mouth as Clarke swung around from the counter.  
"It's not about Kane anymore. I said I would give him a chance and I kept my word. I'm just... I'm sorry... I think we need to talk."  
Abby was a little confused on the sudden 'change' in the conversation, but she decided she may as well allow her this talk, hoping it may clear up their obvious problem.   
Clarke took a few steps from the counter and took one of her mothers hands, closing her eyes and holding on tight. A few moments went by, with deep breaths by Clarke that helped prepare her for the sudden reveal.  
"I'm completely over the whole Marcus Kane thing, I'm starting too see the good side, and I think it's a great idea, but that's not why I've been a little moody lately. I'm- I invited a date for dinner b-"  
Abby didn't mean to interrupt Clarke with a laugh, but she couldn't help it.  
"Clarke! Who cares, the more he merrier! Who is it? What's his name? Does he go to your school? I bet it's Bellamy!" She asked eagerly, wanting to know more.  
"No-... no mom, Bellamy's out of town," Clarke laughed with fear in her throat,"it's uhm... It's a girl, her names Lexa..."  
Abby was a bit shocked at her daughters words. Not upset, just surprised. Lexa, she felt she had heard the name before, but it was a very different name. Abby felt she'd remember it if she did hear it.  
Clarke sighed and closed her eyes, thinking her mothers silence was a sign of disapproval, when in fact it was the complete opposite.  
"Clarke," Abby breathed, a small smile shining across her face, "that's great!"  
Her eyes shot up then, now it was Clarke who was in disbelief.  
"You-you're not upset?"  
"Of course not!" Abby exclaimed, holding onto Clarke's cheeks, "I'm sure she'll be wonderful! Thanks for telling me at last minute thought," Abby joked, "now I need too make more food! Oh well, Marcus said he'd bring stuff."  
Clarke laughed, "sorry, I was just nervous."  
Abby kissed her forehead before stepping around her towards the sink.  
"Don't be nervous, I'm excited now! You'll have someone to talk to now, and you have a date! A date!"  
"You're acting like you thought I'd be single for life," Clarke laughed, turning around too stare at her mothers back as she filled a measuring cup full of water.  
"Well I was starting to think you and Bellamy would get at it, but I guess I was wrong"  
Clarke was silent for awhile, relieved that it was over, and she had gained her mothers approval.   
"Soooo... Uhm... What time is Kane coming tomorrow? So I can tell Lexa."  
Abby thought for a few moments, having to work to remember her and Marcus's conversation.   
"I wanted to eat around six, aaaaaaaaaand... Oh, I told him to come around five, just to hang out and stuff."  
"Awesome, I'll tell her to come around that time then... I'm gonna go and shower, ok?"  
Abby's mind was off and wondering, with Christmas and food on her mind. She was so deep in concentration, she barely caught onto what Clarke was saying.  
"Uhm... Mom?" Clarke said again a little louder, trying to snap her mother from her obvious deep concentration.  
Abby jumped from her trance, startled at Clarke's sudden change in volume.

"Sorry, Clarke, I'm spacing off. Go ahead and shower, I may need your help later with the noodles though."  
"Will do," she responded as she darted up the stairs, feeling light as a feather.  
Abby didn't seem to notice her absence, and kept working away on preparations. Christmas was her favorite holiday, and she made sure to take it very seriously, wanting everything to be perfect. The house smelt like cinnamon, the fire was crackling in the fireplace, and the tree was lit up in all sorts of colors. Too some people, their tree would be hideous. All multi-colored and un-matching, with homemade ornaments that were falling apart, yet still had special value too the Griffin family. Because to her and Clarke, it was the most beautiful Christmas tree in all of New York. She often found herself staring at it as she cooked.  
However, as Christmas Eve rolled around, and Marcus and Lexa were to arrive in less than four hours, Abby found no time to look at her most prized possession. Instead, she was running frantic errands to the liquor store for Marcus's gift, and pushing through crowds and crowds of people at Macy's, looking for the best bracelet Lexa may be happy with, even if she had absolutely no idea what she looked like. Once she returned home, wrapping the gifts as fast as she could, she sped to the kitchen, peeling the potatoes in record time, as she boiled several pots of water for the beans, potatoes, and noodles. She screamed in her mind. It had too be perfect, she had two people to impress.  
Clarke was in charge of rolls, carefully forming balls of dough and sticking them on a pan, preparing them to be heated to perfection.  
"Who's in charge of the ham?" She asked, noticing it was almost two, and there was no meat too be found.  
"Marcus and his dad used too smoke lots of meat, so he volunteered to smoke a ham," Abby replied as she pounded down on the potatoes, adding butter and milk as she pleased.  
"YEEEEEESSSSSSS," hollered Clarke loudly, obviously happy with her mothers answer, "NOTHING. IS BETTER THAN SMOKED HAM."  
Abby laughed at her daughters love of meat, forgetting it had been a while since they had meat that was nicely smoked. After that conversation, Clarke was all over five o'clock rolling around. Of course she was excited, but now she was REALLY excited.  
As minutes went by, and Abby noticed that she was actually making good time, she slowed down, and took a breath. It was a quarter till five, and all the food needed too do was sit and simmer until they reached perfection. With the remaining time, Abby decided too mix up some 'grown-up' eggnog for her and Marcus, even though she knew Clarke and her date would most likely get into it later. After adding a few splashes of Vodka and cinnamon, Abby left the cold mugs on the table, and moved to the radio too put on some Christmas music.  
With the fireplace glowing, Christmas tree lit, music on the stereo, the moon glowing in the night, and a light snow beginning too fall, nothing could have been more perfect. Marcus and Lexa would be arriving any moment, and with nothing too do, she figured putting their presents under the tree would be a good idea.  
"Clarke, could you help me with putting the presents under the tree?" Abby asked her daughter, who was sitting in the chair by the couch, reading a book.  
"Sure," she exclaimed happily, setting the book down and hopping from her seat. She wore a comfortable pair of dark jeans and a red and green, warm flannel. She'd had the shirt for years, and never seemed to grow into it until now. It used to be her fathers.   
Abby, on the other hand, found comfort in a warm red sweater also with dark jeans, each one fitting perfectly over every curve.  
Clarke followed her mother up the stairs and into her room, grabbing half the presents and heading down the stairs. Abby was able to grab the second half, and follow her down too the tree.  
"Clarke! What are you doing?!" As Abby went too put the presents down to the floor, she noticed Clarke was already back too reading her book, the presents she brought down sprawled all of the trees skirt.  
"You said bring the presents down!" She argued, her eyes still fixed on her precious reading material.  
Abby rolled her eyes and began to organize the gifts, making sure Marcus's and Lexa's were towards the front, easy too reach for when they arrived. Once everything was in order, Abby finally realized there was nothing left too accomplish, so she sat comfortably on the couch, with her mug of eggnog and perfect view of the warm fireplace.


	9. To a New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, last chapter! Some Christmas goodness and dancing and all sorts of love!

After awhile of comfortable silence, a shy knock on the door made Abby hop from her seat. She took a hold of the cold knob and turned it carefully, opening the door too reveal the guest at the other end. It definitely wasn't Marcus, or even a man, but a girl. She was a pretty thing, kind and elegant, yet had a muscular and hard look that made her appearance complete and balanced.  
"You must be Lexa?!" Smiled Abby, reaching out a hand to shake hers.  
"Yes," she replied happily, "that'd be me, you must be Abby?!"  
"You're correct! Cmon, let's get you out of this cold," Abby said, tugging Lexa's arm to help her up the small step, into their warm and cozy home.  
"Where would you like these?" Lexa asked politely, pointing too three small boxes, wrapped nicely with golden bows and red wrapping.  
"Oh," Abby was surprised at the items in her hands, "I wasn't expecting you too bring gifts, here I'll set them under the tree."  
Abby carefully took the presents from Lexa's hands and placed them nicely under the conifer.  
"Ya! Clarke said it'd be her, me, you, and your boyfriend, so I made sure too get three!"  
Abby almost coughed, "boyfriend? Oh... No," she laughed, "we're just friends."  
Lexa grinned to Clarke, who returned a smile.  
Abby caught onto their devious stares, "Clarke! You went from 'I'll give him a chance' too 'oh ya were dating now.' What the hell!"  
"What!" She exclaimed, you seemed happier ever since you 'made up,' I'm just making a joke!"  
Abby smiled, where in reality she was silently screaming of embarrassing on the inside.  
Lexa took a seat next on the couch, on the closest spot too Clarke. They shared a few quiet words, Abby leaving them too their private conversation, and waited patiently for Marcus too arrive. And when he finally did, her face was lit with all sorts of emotions.  
She heard the knock of the door and immediately jumped up and walked over, opening the door a second time. She lost her breath at the sight of him, his cheeks red and black shirt covered in snow. It seemed as he had been outside for along time, the ham was pry even cold!  
"M-Marcus!" Said Abby pulling his arm inside, "how long have you been out there?!"  
"The heater in my truck doesn't work and I'm broke, its kind of miserable," he laughed.  
"I could've picked you up"  
"That would destroy my man card, but thank you for the offer"  
He peered behind Abby too find two giggling girls, obvious finding great entertainment in his words.  
"It's good too see you again Clarke! And you must be Lexa?" He asked politely.  
"Yea, you must be Abby's bo- I mean Marcus, you must be Marcus!"  
Clarke couldn't hold back a laugh, and Marcus was nothing but confused.  
"Uhm... Ha, yea that'd be me"  
Abby broke up the conversation before Clarke and Lexa made it any worse, "here, I'll take the ham."  
"Oh no it's good, I'll set it on the table"  
Once the ham was taken care of, Marcus stepped towards the door again, "I'll be right back, there's still a few things in my truck I might need too bring in so they don't freeze."  
Before Abby could say anything, he was our the door and heading down the sidewalk. It didn't take him more than 30 seconds for him to return, carefully opening the door and stepping by Abby.  
"Where would you like these?"  
In his hands was a healthy tree, not much bigger than a lampshade, with a small red bow tied around the trunk. The pot sat atop two boxes, both nicely wrapped with green bows and red wrapping.  
"Under the tree," Abby breathed in shock. Not really knowing what too say about his gift. "I can't believe you remembered that conversation!"  
"You said you wanted a bonsai," he said standing from the conifer, "i suppose my memory is on point."  
Abby couldn't help but sit in awe at him, Marcus returning his gaze.  
"Hey, love birds," Clarke shouted, her hands cupped to her mouth, "Marcus brought the ham, so let's eat."  
"Just. friends." Abby yelled, annoyed at her daughter, her smile turning to a frown.  
Marcus shared a look with Lexa, both of them having a hard time not laughing at the mother daughter argument playing out in front of them.  
"If we just sit at the table, they'll follow," Lexa told him, standing from the couch and stepping towards the set table.  
"Right, food," Abby pointed, bypassing Clarke as she headed too the kitchen. Marcus followed her, hoping to help her take out the dishes. As Abby went to take the large pot of green beans from the stove top, Marcus stood next to her, grabbing the noodles.  
"That's ok, Marcus, you go ahead and sit down."  
He ignored her comment and turned left towards the table, Lexa and Clarke waiting patiently next to each other in their chairs. Abby took the green beans and potatoes, and Marcus made sure to grab the noodles and basket of rolls. Once everything was on the table, the next order of business was cutting the ham. They all gave Marcus the honor, mostly because he was the only one who knew how too cut the ham anyways!  
"Too a merry Christmas, and a happy New Year!" Lexa cheered, raising her glass, the rest of the table doing the same.  
"And too a new beginning," Clarke commented, her words applying too everyone at the table.  
Dinner went by fast, and everyone was full by the time it was over. They covered almost every topic that came too mind. Lexa's family, Marcus's family, the Griffin family. Favorite movies, songs, and books. Everyone's favorite hobbies and funny Christmas stories. Marcus especially enjoyed the one where Jasper fell from the roof of the Griffins home, because his feet were tangled in Christmas lights, and Monty couldn't help but tug on the cord.  
"So, are we ready too open presents?" Clarke asked as she helped finish up cleaning dishes with her mother, Lexa and Marcus on drying duty.  
"I think so," said Abby in a happy tone. Watching as people opened presents was her favorite part.  
"Whoo, let's go!" Clarke skipped, slapping her wet wash clothe down into the sink, and pulling Lexa into the living room. Marcus held his hand out too Abby, who looked at him confusingly.  
"What?" Marcus asked, "i can't lead you too the tree?"  
"Oh... Y-yes, thank you," she stuttered, taking his hand in hers.  
He carefully led her into the living room, where they worked together too make four separate piles of presents, one for each person. Once the tree was empty, and everyone's gifts were nearly divided, they sat together on the floor, the couch already occupied by the two teens who 'owned the home.'  
"Lexa, Clarke, why don't you go first," said Abby, watching as they both immediately began too choose between their two gifts, which too open first. Clarke's gift was a drawing pad and pencils from her mother, which she had been asking for for months on end. Lexa's was from Abby was well, and she was more than happy to find a silver bracelet inside. It was simple, yet really stood out on her wrist. Now it was onto the second gifts, from Marcus. Clarke was relieved too find Al sorts of paints and brushes hidden under her wrapping, it was a present almost as good as her mothers! Lexa was a bit nervous about hers, seeing they her and Marcus had never met before. However, her thoughts were soon set aside as she peeled back the wrapping, revealing a soft, black and white blanket. The name 'Lexa' written in small lettering across the top.  
"This is so neat!" She exclaimed, running her fingers across her name.  
Marcus was happy she enjoyed the gift, relieved he didn't get the wrong thing.  
"Marcus?" Abby looked too him, making a gesture towards the bottle in his lap, a bow tied across its neck.  
"Well, seeing as I can already read he label..."  
Abby laughed, "I hope you like Baileys"  
"It's good in coffee," he assured her, setting the bottle back down in his lap, "your turn," he smiled, motioning towards her gifts.  
"Well, for one, thank you for the tree, it means a lot too me."  
Marcus nodded, a little embarrassed at the present for some strange reason, but proud nonetheless.  
It was a bright little thing. It's leaves sprung up in a green glow, and its trunk spiraling up towards the sky. Abby liked the little red bow, and figured maybe she'd keep it where it was tied. It's brown, bowl like pot, with a green 'G' in the middle really made the plant complete. It was perfect.  
"Alright, this one's from Lexa," Abby said, grabbing a small box no bigger than the palm of her hand. She was ecstatic too find a ring inside. It looked as if it were made of an old spoon handle, with intricate designs carved into the silver.  
"Is it made from a spoon?" Abby asked politely too Lexa, who knew she liked it.  
"Yea it is! My mother makes them, it's her hobby"  
"Well, it's beautiful, thank you!" Abby slipped the ring on her finger, and gently set the empty box aside, "that one must be from Clarke," she nodded towards a bag with her head.  
Taking the handles, she gently picked out each piece of tissue paper until she revealed a slab of styrofoam. Taking it from the bag, she didn't know what it was until she flipped it around, that's when she held her breath. It was a charcoal sketch of her holding Clarke when she was a babe, rocking her back and forth in a slow tone.  
"Clarke, it's so pretty," she gasped, running her fingers along each drawn line.  
"Merry Christmas, mom," she smiled, standing from her chair to give Abby a hug, which she accepted happily.  
"Merry Christmas Clarke"  
"And Merry Christmas, everyone!" She hollered after she released her mother, motioning to Marcus and Lexa, who sat watching quietly by.  
"So, Clarke," Lexa asked, "are we still looking at lights?"  
Clarke had too sit for a few moments, thinking, until she realized what she was talking about.  
"Oh yea! Mom, me and Lexa wanted too drive around and see Christmas lights, is that ok?"  
Abby thought for a few moments. She didn't really want Clarke too leave, especially on Christmas Eve. But, that meant alone time with Marcus, and she had a few ideas on how they could spend that time.  
"Alright, I don't see why not," Abby finally spoke. At her words, Clarke jumped up, grabbing Lexa's arm.  
"Awesome! Thanks, mom! Lexa lets go!" They both still had their shoes on, and Clarke was so in a hurry to leave, she didn't even bother with the coats. And before Abby could say a thing, the door was slammed closed, and there were only two.  
"Well, Clarke's grown fast. And Lexa seems nice," Marcus said, working on striking a conversation, a quiet tune of Christmas music playing in between their words.  
"She's very nice," Abby said, standing from her spot on the floor, taking a few steps towards the counter, "more eggnog?" she asked.  
"I'm good, thanks,"  
striking a conversation, a quiet tune of Christmas music playing in between their words.  
"She's very nice," Abby said, standing from her spot on the floor, taking a few steps towards the kitchen, "more eggnog?" she asked.  
"I'm good, thanks," he said, standing too follow her. He was only halfway up before he began too cough, landing on his knees.  
"Marcus," Abby gasped, slamming the empty glasses down on the counter and rushing to his side, "what's wrong? Are you ok?"  
"I'm fine, Abby. Sorry, it's just hard too breath sometimes."  
She grabbed his arm, helping pull him from the floor. And he nodded his head in thanks.  
"Sorry, Abs, I didn't mean too scare you"  
She laughed, letting go of his arm, "don't be sorry, I'm just worried someday I'll knock on your door and find you collapsed on the floor now."  
"I'm too stubborn too die," he smiled, trying too lighten her mood.  
"Ya," she smirked, "your'e stubborn alright"  
"Oh, really?" Marcus grinned, grabbing the back of her neck in a vulnerable position, "I'm stubborn?"  
"Ow!" She cried, laughing at Marcus's playfulness, "stop it!"  
He smiled deviously, "I'm stubborn, I don't wanna stop!"  
They couldn't help but crack up, Marcus still grabbing onto the back of her neck pushing down on her muscles.  
"You're an ass!"  
Marcus flipped her around towards him, his face inches from hers, and hands now softly resting on her shoulders.  
"Then kiss your ass," he smirked, giving Abby a deep and long kiss on the lips.  
She pulled away after a few moments, "you're so stupid!" She smiled, brushing her nose against his.  
"Hey, I thought it was pretty smooth!"  
Abby barely let him finish, before she snuck in another kiss, and then another, and then another.  
"I've been thinking about this all night," Abby whispered out of breath, her hands in his hair, and his on her back, under her sweater and tickling her soft skin. She nudged her mouth onto his neck, working her way back to his mouth, where he was waiting too carefully, yet hungrily take her again.  
After a few minutes, Marcus was the one too pull away, opening his eyes too look into hers.  
"If this is too early just tell me but..."he said, trying too catch his breath, "maybe, before we go any further, would you like too uhm... Go on a date?"  
Abby laughed, kissing him softly again, "too early? You already took me to bed, it's more late than anything!"  
"You started it," he giggled, resting his forehead on hers.  
They sat in silence, standing together, before Abby broke their silence.  
"I love the tree, thank you. But, do you know what else I really want for Christmas?"  
"What do you really want for Christmas?" He asked, a smile spread on his lips.  
"A dance, with you"  
"Hm, I'm not very good at dancing, but for you I'll try"  
There were no more words spoken, just Abby, taking her hands from his soft hair, and moving her arms to rest on his shoulders. She began moving back and forth, her forehead still resting on his.  
"This isn't necessarily dancing," he whispered to her, rocking lightly back and forth to the peaceful beat of the music.  
"I know, but I just want you to hold me in your arms, just like this."  
He smiled, "I can do that"  
The tune of Christmas rang through the room, and Marcus couldn't wish for nothing more than too be here with Abby for all his life. He basked in the warm sensation of the fire heating his back, the feeling of Abby's arms on his neck, the sweet smell of cinnamon in the air. It was all made complete by the peaceful noise of Christmas and Abby's eyes looking into his.  
They stood like that for at least an hour, the snow outside gradually building up higher and higher. Before Marcus knew, it was ten o'clock, and Clarke and Lexa would be home any minute.  
"I better get home," he said, gently pulling away from Abby. But, she refused too let go, and reached for his shirt which she used to pull him back to her.  
"I love you"  
"I love you too, and thanks for dinner"  
She let him go, and he headed towards the door where his jacket, boots, and Baileys waited on the floor. Abby watched as he slipped on his boots and coat. Opening the door for him as he was prepared too leave. Marcus stepped outside, and turned around too see her one last time.  
"I really had fun tonight, thanks," he said, his hair beginning too turn white with snow.  
"Well, thank you for coming!"  
"So, about that date, what are you doing New Years?"  
Abby thought for a few moments, "well, Clarke's going out with friends, and I'll pry be watching movies"  
Marcus smiled, his body shivering a little in the cold, "well, what do you think about going to see the ball drop in time square? With me? T-together?"  
She couldn't help but laugh at his question, the cold beginning to screw with his words,"of course!"  
"Great! Uhm, I'll pick you up, around five?"  
"Five sounds good"  
"Ha, I'll make sure to mark my calendar"  
He turned too leave, before Abby was forced to stop him again, "Marcus," she said, pointing up towards the doorway. He laughed when he saw the mistletoe, thinking her joke clever.  
"Fine," he said, pulling her out into the snow, resting his forehead again onto hers, their noses brushing against one another.  
"To a new beginning," Abby smiled warmly before devouring his lips in a warm kiss, his hands holding tightly onto hers. He pulled his mouth away, and looked into her eyes, the eyes that looked as if they had held all the stars.  
"To a new beginning"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To a New Beginning! Make sure to forgive any of those bitches who did you wrong just so you can be the good person this Christmas!
> 
> Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!


End file.
